For every person I’ve met here at college, everyone has something in common: they know someone who has been raped. Although this is shocking considering the amount of resources my University has, it remains true all the same. Women in college, ages 18-24, are three times more likely to be raped. According to RAINN, a sexual assault prevention organization, “11.2 percent of all students experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence, or incapacitation (among all graduate and undergraduate students)”.
So, what do we do if the person who is attacked is not us? What happens if we go against their wishes of not telling anyone, and “just forgetting about it”? Here are some ways to effectively and efficiently report rape on campus.
1. Listen to every detail of their story.
The things they may think are “unimportant” are actually significant things in regard to keeping them safe, as well as everyone else. Listen to descriptions of bedrooms, clothing, and the general situation of the attack. If your friend does not know their attacker, try to get every single detail they are willing to tell you out of them.
2. Cautiously ask them how they want to go about the crime.
For some, reporting their attacker is less grueling than others; do not be upset or mad at the victim if they are not willing to tell someone right away. Having to relive the process by telling the story again can be traumatic, and the victim’s route to recovery should be as smooth as humanly possible.
3. Support them, and understand what consent means.
Although you may not agree with how your friend spent their night, no one deserves to be raped. There is no justification or reason as to why it should happen. Support this person as much as possible, and be sure to advocate not only your personal resources, but campus resources as well. No means no, and anyone who doesn’t understand that does not deserve to be on a college campus.
4. Encourage them to talk to their RA, or go to the college’s Title IX office.
Being a freshman on campus, RA’s are a great resource when it comes to things like this. They are still close enough in age to where they understand and are generally easier to talk to, and also hold a position of power in which the victim feels safer. If your friend does not live in an on-campus residence hall, you can also go to your university’s Title IX office. This means that your school can issue a no-contact directive preventing someone’s abuser from interacting with them on campus.
5. Offer to go with them when (and if) they report their attack.
Going about traumatic events can be difficult, and being a physical and emotional support system for a victim can change everything for them. The worst thing to feel like after getting raped is loneliness, and preventing those feelings as much as possible by being there is incredibly useful.
6. Look into group therapy sessions, as well as one-on-one.
Unfortunately, experiencing rape is going to most likely make your friend depressed, anxious and a lot of other things that affect their mental health. Be there with them when you look into therapy; most universities offer little-to-no charge sessions with their graduate students.
While rape culture is becoming better at most colleges, it still happens. If you or a friend are attacked sexually or physically, please look into these resources:
Women Helping Women
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
