I have several friends who put me down. More than not actually. I don’t believe in “cutting people off” because if I cut all of these people off then who will be my friends, you see?
Anyway, I am having a tough time dealing with my friends who put me down. On one occasion, I was talking to a friend about how terrible I was feeling and how I’ve been having a rough week. Instead of saying something with a soothing effect they said “You think that’s bad… I’ve got this that and the other on top of whatever you’re talking about.”
I felt like I was just there to inflate their ego and then wait for them to walk away. I don’t get it. Why would you do something like that? How should I handle the situation?
Should I respond with, “Well, I didn’t think we were talking about you? But okay.”
Or should I say “Oh, you’re right. My emotions are dwarfs to the turmoil that is your buzzing life.”
Or should I instead stay quiet like I did and say nothing?
Another situation was when I was talking to a friend about how I was stressed out about an essay that I had. Instead of responding with a kind remark to reassure me that it would all be alright and that I can do anything that I set my mind to…
They said, “Oh well, when I was in college I wrote three times that much. You’ll be fine. It’s not that much.”
Oh. Again, I said nothing. I just don’t know how to handle this situation. Do I tell them that what they said offended me and possibly ruin a friendship? Do I overlook the comments? I don’t know.
One last example, I have a friend whose boyfriend continually puts me down. He says harsh things to me that hurt. She says nothing and just sits next to him. Her boyfriend has an adamant belief that everything he says is correct and that if you do not live his life the way that he believes you should, then you will be mercilessly ridiculed.
His girlfriend just ignores the situation and moves on. It hurts to be the butt of the joke so consistently. I don’t know what to do.
Should I say something to my friend’s boyfriend and possibly risk the friendship I have with her?
Do I mention it to the girlfriend and potentially lose her as a friend because she takes her boyfriend’s side against me?
Or do I just stay quiet and say nothing?
I have just been staying quiet and not saying anything to my friends. Instead, I just accept the comments and move on. But I am growing tired of the comments and want to figure out a different way to handle things. I could start telling people immediately when they make a comment how I feel, and that could solve the problem. Thoughts?
