Roasting Trump After The First Debate
Start writing a post

Roasting Trump After The First Debate

It's gonna be YUUUUUUUUGE.

Roasting Trump After The First Debate

In case you couldn't figure it out, I'm roasting Trump right now and probably all of his under-educated supporters (sorry, not sorry). If you saw the debate just this Tuesday, you either had one of three following reactions:

1. OMG this is so damn funny!

2. Holy **** the country is gonna end in 4 months, or

3. Both. I'm gonna go over some reasons why you shouldn't vote for Trump, aside from him just being a jack-wagon. Here are his policy issues as he stated on Tuesday.

1. Immigration

Trump: We have the most deficient, useless immigration policy in the world. People are coming into the country and we don't even know who they are. Those damn Mexicans and Syrian refugees are bringing chaos into the country. Crime has gone up, homicides have gone up, and you know what my blood pressure is going up too.

Literally WTF. Trump is like WebMD of politics. One small issue and he's immediately asserting that we're about to have a nuclear crisis the likes of which this world has never seen. We don't know who's coming into the country? Obviously we do because we have your orange, orangutan behind in the country and your mother is literally from Scotland. Oh but no I don't want you people to be naturalized because that's bringing crime and rapists into the country. What's even richer is that his (current) wife isn't even from here either. This is so hypocritical, but then again look who we're talking about.

2. Race relations

Trump: Stop and Frisk people. It's gotta be stop and frisk. I have loads of African American friends and they love me.

*Facedesk* Really? Police are already stereotyping minorities UNCONSTITUTIONALLY, now you want to give them the right to do that? Sounds like a great idea to me. I mean after all they can't discriminate against him because he's the only orange person in the country aside from John Boehner. We should really start spraying for those. What idiot black people actually vote for him anyway? And those black churches that say that Trump is holier than thou. Ugh you make me sick. If he gets elected, God almighty forbid, I hope you've got a bunker to hide yourselves in because he's gonna deport you.

3. Trade

CHIYNA!!!!!! Literally nothing else to say here.

4. Jobs

MEXICO! OMG those Mexicans are taking our jobs and they're leaving the country because of these insanely high tax margins, blah blah blah. Okay Mr. Trump so what is your solution? We've gotta keep the jobs from leaving, by gutting the corporate tax rate by 20%, never mind that they don't pay their taxes to begin with. Okay yes, but what will you do to create jobs? IT WILL CREATE JOBS OKAY?!?! I have a tremendous company, I have great wealth, my head is shoved so far up my behind that I could make a pretzel outta myself, it's gonna be fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

5. Cyber Security

Trump: Let me tell you something. We have a serious problem and we need to talk about it. Code for: I don't have a damn clue as to what the hell you just asked me.

6. Temperament

Trump: I am the most stable guy in the history of stability. I am totally not spewing racial, misogynistic, ignorant, bigot ideas around. That's not me. The people love me. They love me. I have more temperament than Hillary Clinton. I'm so stable that I make the Empire State Building look like a twig in the breeze.

7. Foreign Relations

Trump: Bomb the crap outta ISIS and take the oil. Take the oil. Oh by the way I totally did NOT support the Iraq war. It was all Obama's fault. By the way me and Putin are like the Rock and Kevin Hart.

8. Other issues

Trump: President Obama was not fit to be president because he's foreign born. He's a Muslim! Damn him! What? I didn't say that! I never ever said that. I disavow. Me not paying taxes makes me smart? Who the hell told you that? You CNN people are just a bunch of fat, lying, incompetent bags of garbage. I never, EVER, said that. The media treats me unfairly. You know what? Just for that, I'm gonna build a wall SOOOO YUUUUGEEEE, that your radio waves won't even reach over them to broadcast to the rest of the country or the world for that matter. You guys are a mess, but don't worry I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna deport your radio waves. TV will never see you guys again. Ever. And.. I'm gonna shoot down every satellite that you have in space.

..... Real talk, let's elect Bernie Sanders.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Social Media Or Soul Media

To the generation that cares way too much about affirmation.

Emma Smith
  • This semester I am taking the ever so famous class, Writing 101. Walking into it, I had heard the horror stories about each major assignment. I have to admit, it’s not a class that I am fond of. But, major assignment #2 got me thinking, we had to create a research question based off of a topic that we are interested in.

Two weeks prior, I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix. Miss Representation was recommended to me by one of my friends and I have to say the topic is absolutely mind blowing. Social Media and Female Body Image. How Social Media makes girls see this unnatural perfection of ‘beauty’ that really doesn’t exist. But female body image isn’t the only thing affected by social media.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sex And The Church

A letter to fellow believers.

Amanda Hayes
  • I know many of you just read that title and thought it was scandalous to see something so “risque” in the same setting as something holy. Well guess what – sex is part of that. Everyone seems to think they are separate, which makes since because most people treat them as though they are complete polar opposites. Shall we think this through?

Who created the Church body? God. Who created the body? Also God. If we know God to be the creator of all things, we cannot leave sex out of that equation. God created sex, people! Praise Him! Like all great things, the world has twisted and perverted it. The world has stained it so badly that even many church congregations see it only as stained and keep quiet about that part of God’s word. Many people know that God told Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), but a lot of people overlook the entirety of Song of Solomon. The entire book is dedicated to telling of the love and sex between man and wife. God blessed us with the gift of intimacy, one to be shared between husband and wife. Church if we teach of sex as the blessing that it is, more people will start treating it as such. If we stop viewing sex as this unspeakable act, the temptation would be lessened. With the fall of man, humans naturally desire things they should not have. So if more people speak of it with gladness and praise, and do not hide it in the darkness as if it were vile, fewer people would be drawn to it for the wrong reasons. More people would appreciate it for what it is: a gift from God.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chick-fil-A, I love you.

Keep Reading... Show less

An open letter to my father

What you did sounds dumb to me

An open letter to my father
The Truth About My Parents' Divorce

Considering im 18 now & you're one of the best men i've ever met since you have a child; me. I want you to know that I love you, more than anyone, I love you. I don't forgive you for the way you hurt my mother. I'm hurt because you broke our family. Thing went down hill the day you found Laquita. You we're distant & shortly after my mother turned into the coldest, saddest women to walk past me. She's my best friend & so are you. Not one day goes by where I don't wonder what she did wrong. How on earth could you trade your family & the women who loved you unconditionally for a home wrecker? Sounds dumb to me.

Keep Reading... Show less

Is God Reckless?

Exploring the controversy behind the popular worship song "Reckless Love"

Is God Reckless?

First things first I do not agree with people getting so caught up in the specific theology of a song that they forget who they are singing the song to. I normally don't pay attention to negative things that people say about worship music, but the things that people were saying caught my attention. For example, that the song was not biblical and should not be sung in churches. Worship was created to glorify God, and not to argue over what kind of theology the artist used to write the song. I was not made aware of the controversy surrounding the popular song "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury until about a week ago, but now that I am aware this is what I have concluded.The controversy surrounding the song is how the term reckless is used to describe God's love. This is the statement that Cory Asbury released after many people questioned his theology regarding his lyrics. I think that by trying to clarify what the song was saying he added to the confusion behind the controversy.This is what he had to say,
"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments