I've been dating my girlfriend, Emily, for almost two years now.

I was a fairly open-minded person before we met. I knew of racism in American society. I knew of the struggle of the LGBTQ+ community. The difference between who I was before we began dating and who I am now is a sense of awareness.

I grew up in Florida, where using "gay" as a synonym for "bad" was very common. Racist jokes were said at school fairly often. I knew they were wrong, but I never really thought about why these things were wrong. I thought things were black-and-white, and that was it. This was wrong, and that is right. I was above all things, an absolutist.

When I was in high school, I had friends (now former friends) who had sexist/racist beliefs, but at the time, no one thought they were actually sexist or racist. They were just "jokes." I thought that these people were good people, with decent intentions. They just said dumb things. What I found out is that things are more complicated than that. I learned that when one of my former friends sexually assaulted a girl. Turns out, the sexist things he said weren't just jokes.

When I began dating Emily, I began to understand what it means to have different perspectives on things. I knew what it was like to struggle as a racial minority, but Emily showed me what it's like to face oppression as a person of the LGBTQ+ community. That, in turn, led to me learning more about the struggle of all marginalized groups, and working actively to protect my fellow people of color, while also becoming the best ally I can be in all other aspects.

You see, it's one thing to see how the world works, and why things are the way they are. It's another thing to fully immerse yourself into learning more and more every day. It's incredibly hard to understand that the opinions you have on certain topics or subjects are wrong, but once you understand that, then you are able to gain new perspectives on everything. It needs to be clear that the opinions you've conceived through an oppressive society can be flawed.

While many people reading this may have expected an extensive list of things dating a feminist has taught me, I'm sorry to say that I have no such list. However, the reason why I don't have a list is not because there wasn't much I've learned, but there is in fact countless things that I've learned. Dating a feminist challenges you on what you believe, as well as how you perceive things, and that is the most important thing you need to keep in mind about anything, inside feminism and out.