College is the time where you really establish your independent identity: who you are, who you want to be, and how to get there. During my time at Western, I struggled to grasp my own identity alongside my peers who were (and maybe still are) going through the same difficult time. This time of uncertainty can lead to feelings of insecurity, making it more important than ever to make yourself a priority.
Confidence is not black or white -- there's a whole lot of in-between. I don't believe a person is confident all the time, nor do I believe a person is insecure all the time. Many factors in daily life contribute to one's own self-confidence. However, in learning about myself, observing my peers, and finding my place in a college community, I've found that genuinely confident people tend to embody the following:
1. Confident people are content being alone.
Love, companionship, and human connection are of the greatest assets life has to offer. This knowledge is so prioritized that another one of life's greatest assets, companionship with the self, tends to fall to the side.
Confident people are perfectly happy to be alone. In fact, they dedicate time to it. This time to themselves means time completely to themselves, free of the distraction of a phone, TV, or computer. Some may connect to their self through meditation, others through more creative means like art or music. Some may connect to their self through being in nature. Whatever it may be, confident people are perfectly content with their own company. They are more mindful, they know themselves better, and they hold greater pride in their personal identity. By falling more in love with themselves, they learn more about what they want, need, and deserve, which brings me to my next point:
2. Confident people don't settle.
Confident people know what they deserve and what they want for themselves; anyone or anything less than that will not make the cut. In relationships and friendships, they surround themselves with people who lift them up, inspire them, and motivate them to be better both by encouragement and by example. And, likewise, they know their peers view and respect them in a similar light. When a confident person finds themselves in a friendship, relationship, or life circumstance that does not make them feel happy or uplifted, they move on, because they know something or someone better will come their way.
3. Confident people stand by their feelings.
Confident people do not undermine or repress how they feel. They trust themselves enough to realize that if they feel a certain way, then it's for good reason. They say what's on their mind and they stand by it. They stand up for themselves and their peers. Most importantly, they don't give into pressure.
4. Yet, confident people can admit when they're wrong.
5. Confident people take responsibility.
Confident people accept responsibility for their actions, they aren't afraid to ask for help, and they apologize when they should. They use any mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning rather than falling into a pattern. Confident people realize that if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. When something doesn't go right, learn from it and change it.
6. Confident people think with both logic and emotion.
7. Confident people don't hyper-analyze the actions of others.
Confident people don't read the actions of others to determine if they are liked. Rather, they assume they are liked. They know they are kind, respectful, and worthy and don't fret over whether others agree. Any person who doesn't agree is not someone who needs to be kept around.
8. Confident people don't try to sell themselves.
9. Confident people do not compare themselves to others.
Each and every human has their own identity, goals, and values, so comparing any two people is just a waste of time. Confident people won't waste their energy comparing themselves to anyone else. They take pride in their own originality. The only person they can (and should) compare themselves to is their past self. If they're moving forward, then there's reason for praise. This brings me to my next point:
10. Confident people give themselves credit where credit is due.
They praise themselves on their accomplishments and give themselves pats on the back. They take the time to say to others and to themselves, "I'm proud of you." They take a step back, recognize when they've done something right, and take pride in their accomplishments before pushing on toward the next one.
11. Yet, confident people push themselves to be better.
They give themselves credit, but that does not mean they are finished. Confident people are hardly content to be stuck in place. They know they can do better and always push themselves to reach new heights. Even through hard work, strenuous efforts, and potential risks, they always strive to improve. Confident people can ask themselves where they'll be in five years, do all they say they will do, then ask themselves that same question five years later. They are always moving and always persevering because they know nothing is out of their reach. They do what makes them happy, they follow their passions, and in doing so, they fall more and more in love with themselves and with others.
