A pretty good chance, I’d say, as long as your open to it. The first few days of college is awkward as all hell. Orientation is full of ice-breakers where people talk about themselves, but nobody’s listening because they’re too busy thinking about their own personal interesting facts. Some kids are shy and look around to see if anyone’s eyes are on them, while others are excessively outgoing trying to get a head start into the friend-making race. Teachers want to know two truth’s and a lie, and all your family and peers are pressuring you to get involved. After taking in so much new information about this new life, you go back to your room, slowly, and punch in the code to your room, slowly, and open the door, slowly, not sure if you want your roommate to be there or not.
As the door creaks you see them turn their head and acknowledge your entrance. “Hey,” you both exchange. Very brief small talk may follow, but it’s usually not a lot more than that. This is how the first week or two goes while the comfort level awkwardly, yet gradually, increases. In the short amount of time you understand their habits, know the clothes they wear, the music they either blast or seclude themselves in. The mystery is solving itself, and small talk turns a bit more personal, like which people are incredible eye-candy, or how the new job is going.
Unfortunately, the casual encounters between you and your roommate stay the same. There’s a chance you may never go beyond chatting before bed, even if all their little habits and quirks become more apparent. Unless you make an effort to exceed it.
This person who’s life is more intricately connected to your own than anyone else, at least deserves a chance at being understood. And no, having full knowledge of their tooth-brushing and pooping schedules does not count. What I mean is setting some valuable time aside to get to know them. In my case, it happened during the second week of school, after the limit for casual conversation had been reached. I was hungry, and it was nearing the time he went to get dinner, so I asked if we could get it together. While eating, we talked, joked, and laughed about some of the stupid stuff we’ve done, and how awkward orientation was, all while taking moments of silence to observe pretty girls walking by. During this dinner time we determined which seats were better, our favorite dish, which was the pasta by far, why I was so obsessed with fruit, and why the hell he wore two shirts every day in 80 degree weather. We sealed our acknowledged friendship with a double handshake as payment for a bet.
That night to get dinner with my roommate was one of the best decision I’ve made while in college. Junior year is approaching, and he is still my best friend. We have made many awesome memories and laughed about some of the funniest stuff of our lives together.
It wouldn’t have been possible, though, if we both hadn’t made the effort. It’s so easy to get caught up in your own head, and it feels good to stay in that comfort bubble, but the memories you want to make are all going to be on the outside of that bubble. The urgency I share with you to know your roommate, and to give them the chance to become an integral part of your college experience applies to everything else as well. Take baby steps if you have to, but give fraternity/sorority life a try, get a job, go on retreats and help people through service.
Take it just a quarter mile at a time, and don’t leave behind any opportunities, because college only lasts four years.
I love ya, Jimmy.
