I've been a small town grocery store cashier for a year now. Some days I love it and some days I hate it. I've gotten to meet so many people through the store. One guy buys me a candy bar every time he comes it (even if its twice in one day!). Another guy calls me sweetheart, but there are some...special customers. Special customers that make our job the worst ever.
But because we are nice and value our jobs, we don't say anything. So listen up, here are the top 10 things we wish we could say!
1. We do NOT want your "boob money."
Especially in the summer when it's hot, we really don't appreciate you reaching into your boobs and pulling out a wet five-dollar bill. Please at least put it in your pocket or a wallet or a plastic baggy, for goodness sake! Money is gross in general, but boob money has its own category of nasty.
2. I know you probably don't want your receipt but I'm going to ask, anyways.
I don't know what you need it for, but I have to ask. Make a tiny airplane, use it for chewed gum, roll it up and throw it at some one, I don't care! Just please don't leave it on the belt because you don't want it!
3. No, you don't need your candy bars double bagged.
Sure, I'll double bag your milk or bottles of pop for you so it doesn't rip. But is it really necessary to double bag your candy or your bread or your paper towels? Probably not.
4. If you want paper bags/you brought your own bags, please tell me before I bag it all in plastic.
I'm trying to ring everything out, bag your groceries AND swipe your card at the same time. I would super appreciate it if you could tell me you don't want plastic, first! Also, please don't give me the plastic vs. paper speech either. You either kill a tree or yada yada with plastic. Ya can't win.
5. I don't make the prices; they are decided for us.
I know those cookies are expensive and they are cheaper at Wal-Mart, but this isn't Wal-Mart! Yelling at me won't change the prices, sir!
6. It is not my fault your bank gave you a card with a chip in it.
I don't like them either, but I don't know what to tell you. I guess they are safer or whatever, but I think they are a pain just like you do.
7. Please don't throw your money on the belt.
Just give me five more seconds to switch all your plastic bags to paper. I swear it takes longer for me to pick it up rather than handing it to me.
8. For the love of all things good, don't give me change after I already ran it through the register!
It's been three years since I've used actual math skills. You're just going to confuse me, then yell at me for "my generation's issues with phones," and waste another minute that you could have already left.
9. Please take your items out of your basket when you sit it on the belt.
I am not your mother, I am a cashier. Please.
10. "It's not priced! It must be free!"
Har har har. We have over 10,000 items in this store and it's impossible to make sure everything is priced. Please no more dad jokes.
