For anyone who's also in law enforcement, you'd be more inclined to use the term "MVA", or motor vehicle accident. It was one of my first thoughts when I got into a car crash a couple of weeks ago, but it definitely wasn't the only thought running through my head.
The first thing I thought of was "oh s***, this is gonna hurt". Many people asked me if I was scared, and honestly, as crazy as it sounds I don't remember feeling afraid. It may have been because the whole thing felt as if it was in slow motion, so I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
Then it hit, and it hit hard.
It was one of the worst pains I could imagine. I got hit on the driver's side, which was the side I was on since I was the one driving and the only occupant in my car. At the moment of impact, all I heard was crushing metal and all I felt was a sensation that my internal organs had shifted all the way to the right side of my body and then bounced back. My chest was on fire, I had to remember how to breathe rhythmically. My mind was racing: what the hell just happened? Did I really just get hit? I knew I had to call my boyfriend to let him know I would be late and what had happened because he knew I was on my way home. What I dreaded most was calling my mother. I knew she would freak out, but I had to.
The police officers who first got on scene asked if I was okay, I told them yes and to check on the other people involved. He told me they were fine and that they did not want to seek any medical treatment. Me on the other hand, felt like I got hit by a 3,000 pound piece of metal. Which is exactly what happened. Thankfully, I walked away with bruises on my left side and nothing was broken initially except my car.
Now, here's the part most people don't really tell you about.
After spending 4 hours in the emergency room, I was absolutely exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep, after being assessed for any concussions first of course. The paramedic, doctors, and nurses said they couldn't believe how lucky I was to walk away from a crash like that. My parents, sisters, aunt, and boyfriend stayed with me the entire time I was there and they reassured me that they would be there if I needed anything, which already made me feel a bit more at ease. But even though I was exhausted, I slept horribly that night. I woke up in pain every hour or so because I couldn't sleep a certain way for too long. Everyone talks about how much pain you'll be in for the days following the crash, but what they won't tell you about is the nightmares you may have. I woke up in a cold sweat a few times just from having the whole thing play out in my head. You also have to do all the tedious paperwork for the accident, and make sure you're following up with a doctor to make sure you're okay.
Another thing they don't tell you is it's a completely different world the next time you drive after something like that, if you even choose to. I'm naturally stubborn and independent, so of course I was going to drive again. However, I find myself going slower than usual and being even more cautious than I was before.
The good news is, the pit in my stomach of having to drive again after that has become much more manageable. Some people recover mentally from something like that, but unfortunately some people don't. I am lucky enough to be one of the ones that did, and I will not let the unfortunate experience I had define what the rest of my life is going to be like.
