Working at a camp is a sizable commitment, especially one that is overnight. The training involved is the least of your worries, and when the kids come you may be in for a surprise. Even given a background with children, spending day after day with them and handling behaviors as they arise is no small feat. And at the end of the day, when you are exhausted, all you want to do is curl up into a ball after a hot shower. It is a prolonged, active day and your attention must always be turned to the children. Are they eating? How can I get them to participate? What is bothering them now? Why can’t they complete a sentence, is something making them anxious? The list seems endless. Sometimes being a mind-reader would seem an easier task.
You may look back on your day and say gee, I helped a kid feel better about participating in this activity, or you may reflect and say I could have handled myself better. You may have made a kid upset which later was resolved, but you look back and see only your faults. You may have felt that no matter what you said, the same situation would persist. You may have won a game of Knockout or had fun riding in a canoe, but those moments are hard to stack on top of the hardships faced. But there is not much time for this when you get to bed late and rise early for the wake-up time. A mere 7 hours is all you may have before duty calls. This includes any time to call family and vent about the day.
So even if you do feel like you are making a small difference, your emotional health and having time to decompress are sorely compromised. You have very little time off to see friends and family, and even holidays may be missed. The atmosphere you are in feels confining, and on time off you feel a weird freedom that you have not felt before. That world you are dwelling in has become too much to cope with. You have been given some tools, but not enough training and you hardly have been informed of what really to expect. You are poked prodded and annoyed daily, giving reminders for more space, but to no avail. You know that the disrespect is not always intentional, but it feels bad nonetheless. You forget about yourself and become a robot that can only respond to the needs of the children. You wait your turn at dinner, get up several times for the children and try to eat enough yourself. You walk miles a day on roads that are hazardous, so you be careful you do not fall and break an ankle.
Do not misunderstand me. Your dream and passion may be to work with children, even those with special needs, but an anticipated summer of fun becomes more and more drained of its joy and excitement. It may become hard to remember what put you on this path in the first place.
It is important in these instances not to blame yourself. You remind yourself that you are trying your best and this is a new experience for you. You look after the children with careful attention and try to do the same for yourself. But this proves a bit harder when not given the proper resources. You do have a few people to talk to, but you don’t seem to find the time or energy. So, you store any complaints in the back of your mind for a different day. If you just make it until Thursday, until next week, you will be on a mini-break. But unfortunately, sometimes you have reached your limit.
So this fun summer job that seemed great on paper may not actually be a viable option.
