What A Best Friend Looks Like

What A Best Friend Looks Like

My best friend isn't my best friend because she's beautiful and down to earth but because she pushes me to be who I want to be.
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Everyone has a best friend, well everyone says they have a best friend. Not trying to throw shade but some people say that they have a best friend but like to talk a lot of shit behind their so-called “best friend's” back. Or their best friend and they are fighting like every other hour. A friendship is one of the best things you can have in the world and having a friendship with your best friend is better than any friendship or relationship you will ever have. But you don’t want a best friend that picks on you and talks about you behind your back. Your best friend is like a sister, you want to be able to trust her and tell her every single thing about you. Here are a few qualities that a best friend should have.

1. She is always there for you

One thing that a best friend has no matter what is your back. She always has your back whether it's in a good or a bad situation, or even if they think you're totally wrong, they will have your back and then they'll tell you a little later nicely that you were wrong.

2. She is your biggest cheerleader

Your best friend will never let you forget who you are and what you can bring to the table. If your best friend thinks something is wrong they will let you know that it's not your lost and that you were perfect and there's nothing that you could have done differently. Basically telling you that the mistake was not on your end.

3. You can trust her the most

Most of the secrets and fears you have, your best friend already knows about because it's an essential part of the friendship. Also when you guys have those girl nights, you have a lot of deep conversations about your values and what you plan for the future. Your best friend is the number one person you can trust because they won’t tell anyone not even your parents one thing that you tell them.

4. She will cry with you

You don't want to be friends with someone that can't feel for you. Not only do best friends feel for you but they also put themselves in your shoes and they relate to how you feel. They understand what you're going through and they're going to be there with you the whole step of the way.

5. She will laugh with you a lot more than she laughs at you

This is the top quality that a best friend should have. They can have the same humor as you or their own quirky humor but at the end of the day, they know how to make you laugh. Between the inside jokes and all the fun memories you guys have, there's always something to laugh at.

6. She won't judge you because she knows you're just being yourself

Your best friend knows who you are, they know the best part of you and they know the worst part of you. So when that bad part of you comes out once in awhile your best friend is the one person that is not going to judge you because she already knows that part of you.

7. She won't talk about you behind your back

When you and your best friend have a fight, they're not going to go talk to everyone about it and call you names behind your back they're going to come talk to you about it because they know they can. They will also never get over when someone hurts you even though you're already over it.

8. She has respect for you

Your best friend will not always agree with what you are saying but she will be the one person that respects your ideas and opinions.

9. She will forgive you because she knows you're not perfec

She isn't going to expect you to be perfect like I said earlier she knows the best and worst part about you. She knows that you have flaws and when you make a mistake she will forgive you.

10. She is your person

When you are feeling low and you're having a bad day, your best friend should be there trying to make you feel better. She's always the shoulder you can cry on, she will pick you back up when needed. You can go to her for anything.

11. She will listen even if she doesn't care

The number one thing that I always rant about is tv shows, especially when I'm binge watching a new one. Even if your best friend doesn't watch the show you watch or she likes the person that you hate, she will listen to you rant about whatever.

12. She loves you for who you are

Your best friend will love all of you, your attitude, the moods you have, and your personality. She will love you so much that you won’t be able to get rid of her with anything that you do.

Your best friend is the person you want to confront in every time something goes wrong. The friendship that we have with our best friend is one of the most valuable things we have in life. At the end of the day, we always know that we have them to rely on and that feeling goes a long way.

Cover Image Credit: Cecelia Hopkins

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8 Things I Have Not Thanked My Best Friend Forever For In, Well, Forever

Thank you for always being the best.
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1. Being there through it all, even if you're not "physically" there

We can't always be together, but you have never completely "left" me behind and have been there with me through thick and thin and I am so grateful.

2. Being my biggest cheerleader

Thank you for not only being there through the bad, but also celebrating my victories with me. I can always look forward to telling you good news because I know you'll be happy right along with me.

3. Answering my "important" phone calls

Whether it's a "he texted me back!!!" phone call, or an "I found a gray hair, please help!!" phone call, you pick up the phone and hype up with me no matter what.

4. Being selfless, and going above & beyond to make sure I know I'm worthy

This explains itself and I am so grateful for that.

5. Brushing my hair when I don't feel like it

Okay, this probably sounds silly... But it's the greatest struggle to brush my hair and I'm glad you do it for me sometimes!

6. For being there through all of my mini-crises

You already know what I'm talking about here...

7. For talking me out of things

If it wasn't for you talking me out of things, I'd probably have quit my job, be dating a horrible guy, got my eyebrow pierced, etc.

8. Making me a part of your family

I'm too lucky to have you all as my second family.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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Help, I Have A Lot Of Feelings

Finding Purpose in All Those Feelings

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I, 100%, believe you can manifest your own reality. It's disturbing how "feelings" quickly go from scenarios that we create in our heads to a toxic reality.

When I was really sick, I could think of countless reasons to hate myself. It felt like those reasons were piling up and barricading me into my own personal prison of self-disgust. But as I have continued my journey to be stronger than my eating disorder, I am learning that if can convince myself, with the power of my mind, that these feelings are all valid, I can also convince myself that I am actually sufficient, capable, competent, enough, strong and qualified. This power lies in recognizing the difference between feeling and knowing.

Knowledge is constant while feelings vary based on circumstance. I know my best friend loves me even when she doesn't text me back. I may, for a moment, feel like she doesn't care about what I have to say because of the circumstance. But that doesn't change what I know to be true. My best friend loves me.

Being "feelings driven" is a dangerous way to live. It led me to become an empty and shallow version of myself. I was unhealthy and dissatisfied. But I found new life after deciding not to let the way I feel dictate what I knew is true.

If feelings change so often, how can they hold such power over us? Surely they must play some sort of significant role in our lives. Of course they do. Feelings provide us with the opportunity to act. They show us that something might need to change. Typically, we want it to change as soon as possible. If you're feeling bored, you text or call your friends. If you're feeling hungry, you go get food. Feelings give us the opportunity to react. These reactions can affect you positively or negatively. The important thing to remember is that, when you are prompted with a feeling, you always get decide the reaction.

When I was sick, I was very familiar with feeling "gross", "fat", "uncomfortable", and other untrue ways to describe my physical appearance. The reaction that came with that feeling wreaked havoc on me mentally and physically. I could not get through a day of meals without feeling extreme guilt. This guilt was overbearing and it would not go away until I responded with my trigger reaction. Even with these rash and dangerous choices I was making, one thing remained constant. I never felt the way I wanted to. I did not feel beautiful. I did not feel strong. I woke up every single day without any change.

When you are prompted with a feeling that deserves a reaction, make it a beneficial one. I still have many moments when I feel bad about the way I look. Only now, my language about it has changed. I don't take that feeling as an opportunity to hurt myself. Instead, I write about it, call a friend, pray and ask God to help me see myself as He sees me or even just distract myself from the thoughts with some TV.

I cannot count on feelings to fuel my thoughts and take over my mind. Because even though they can bring about the right kind of actions, they have the power to bring you a world of trouble. Acknowledge your feelings. They're there for a reason. Welcome the good feelings, don't be afraid of the negative ones. Just be ready with what you know to combat them. Remind yourself with the truth about who you are constantly, making it your first language. Feelings are temporary and based on circumstance.

Think of the feeling you get when you are so tired after a long and busy day. What comforts you? Knowing the fact that when you get home, you will be able to sleep. You know you will be okay. This same practice of comforting yourself with the truth can and should be done with any negative feeling. Knowing that you will not feel that way forever can protect you from dangerous reaction, whatever it may be. Let it remind you that the temporary state of discomfort, pain, or dissatisfaction, will eventually go away and you will be feeling another way once again.

Feelings are fleeting and changing. They are here one second and gone the next. So to put something so valuable, like your worth or your future, in something so fickle, just sounds foolish. Use feelings for what they are for: to inspire change. What I know is that I AM STRONG even on the days I feel weak, I AM BRAVE even on the days I feel afraid, I AM CAPABLE even on the days I feel unfit for my calling. Any feelings that are not driving me to truth don't stand a chance against what I know.

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