Some of you may know I struggle with anxiety, but for others this may come as a surprise. Most days I can fake it until I make it but sometimes anxiety gets the best of me. Everyone who has anxiety experiences it differently. This is what my anxiety looks like.
1. Perfectionism.
It amazes me how some aspects of my life have to be absolutely perfect, or what I perceive to be perfect. Some examples of this comes in my school work, relationships with friends and family. In high school I would rewrite my class notes if I did not like how my handwriting looked. With my friends and family I try to do as much as I can for everyone. I have a hard time saying no because I don't want to disappoint anyone. I have set incredibly high standards for myself and won't be completely satisfied until they are met- or exceeded.
2. Chaos.
Sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed or super stressed out I tend to let things get out of control. The perfect example of this is my room, which is ironic because in most aspects of my life I am a perfectionist. Eventually I will finally get so stressed out about how messy my room is that I completely clean it and it looks really good.
3. Second guessing.
I constantly second guess myself- what way I should drive to work, what I should wear, what I should or shouldn't have said, and of course big things like if I chose the right school, or picked the right major. I think this second guessing relates back to my perfectionism.
4. Two extreme personalities.
When I'm anxious I will either be extremely withdrawn and want nothing to do with socializing or I will be totally outgoing. It depends on the situation that I am in and what may have triggered my anxiety. If I'm overthinking something that might happen in the future I tend to be more introverted. If I'm in a group with people I'm not really familiar with I tend to be extroverted and outgoing. When I am outgoing and socializing many people would not think I was feeling anxious and stressed on the inside.
Everyone who experiences anxiety feels it in a different way. The disorder takes on different characteristics in each individual which can make it both hard to identify and hard to support someone with the condition.
If you or someone you know struggles with anxiety it may be beneficial to identify behaviors and causes of these feelings. From personal experience it can be frustrating, but at the same time very helpful because knowing the cause can help minimize the effect. If you know you are allergic to peanuts you won't eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch.
Anxiety is a natural emotion. It is your body's way to signal danger or a threat. For some people their bodies are more sensitive to this reaction than others. If you or someone you know may be experiencing anxiety that is interfering with their everyday life don't be afraid to seek medical treatment from a professional.
