I've been reading a lot lately.

Specifically "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Judging strictly by the title, you'd probably guess this is one of those relationship how-to manuals written by some love guru or marriage counselor to the stars. Actually, the book is a guide to self-love and learning to love others in healthy ways.

Before starting this book, I hadn't realized I was going about love in all the wrong ways. First off, it's impossible to love and respect others if you don't love and respect yourself first. Sure, being in a relationship can be a great confidence booster, but being too dependent on the relationship can hurt you and your significant other in the long run.

Loving yourself doesn't necessarily mean gawking at your reflection in the mirror or filling a journal with love letters to yourself; it starts with compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. Forgive yourself for past mistakes, and support yourself while you try to move past those mistakes. Constantly beating yourself up and dwelling too much on the past is an easy path to unhappiness. This also means you should forgive others for the mistakes they've made too, even if it's just for your sake. After forgiving someone (a friend, a significant other, a parent) you can choose how to proceed with the relationship. But you owe it to yourself to let go of the hate and jealousy. We're all human, and we all make mistakes, big and small. The sooner we realize that the sooner we can move on with our lives.

The book explains that another key to achieving happiness and self-love is through compassion for others. Maybe volunteering at the soup kitchen or giving rides to hitchhikers isn't your thing, that's cool. Hold the door for someone, call your relatives just to check on them, help someone with their groceries, tutor a grade schooler, help a friend move; there are endless ways to show compassion for others every day. Something as small as asking someone how their day's going can make a big difference in both of your lives.

I'm excited to finish this book and hopefully put what I've learned to use in my own life. Forgiving yourself and others is sometimes easier said than done, but it's the best way to achieve a life of love and happiness.