Hey you,

You probably had no idea what you were getting into when you first met me. There are so many things I want to say to you and for you to understand. There are so many things I want to thank you for, apologize for and just flat out explain. I will forever be indebted to you for bringing love back into my life when I was reluctant to believe it would. You took this girl, who stopped looking for love, and managed to have her fall in love with you.

When you found me I was broken. Not the obvious, crippling to the floor sort of broken but the smile plastered to my face kind of broken; pretending everything was okay. My heart had been filled once before and had the love knocked out of it. And here you came, out of nowhere, helping me slowly heal and to put my faith back into love. When my walls were sky high, you slowly took it down brick by brick. That had to take an immense amount of patience on your part, so thank you.

Thank you for taking the girl who no longer could bring herself to talk to guys confidently because she was too afraid of getting hurt and turning her back into her goofy, lovable self. Thank you for shocking me on a daily basis with all of your kind words and actions. Thank you for being the one that I finally could fall back into someone’s arms and feel safe again. There aren’t enough ‘thank you’s in the world to get across how grateful I am to have you brought into my life. But I’m also sorry.

I’m sorry for a lot that we have endured together. I’m sorry that I can be closed off. I’m sorry that when you ask what’s wrong I say “nothing” instead of what’s really bothering me. I’m sorry for the anxieties the ones who I loved before you placed in my heart. I’m trying each and every day to be open and free with you. I’m sorry you’ll never get to know the naïve girl who had never had her heart broken; so positive, willing to share her emotions, and full of trust. The broken road I have taken before you has caused my heart to crack and shatter in places I had never expected.

While I will always reserve a special place in my heart for my first love, it is nothing compared to all the love I feel for you. The first love gets a lot of recognition, but what about you? You didn’t get that go-lucky girl who was open to love. You got the damaged girl who ran away from any glimmer of love coming back into her life. You fought for me. You fought for us. You are one amazing human being and I will always smile at the thought of you being my second love.

Sincerely,

The girl who loves you