My Dear Beautiful Children,
You are my most precious gifts and I love you so much. Thank you for choosing me as the vessel that welcomed you into this amazing human journey of life. It isn't always easy for any of us, but never forget that life is a gift. As your mother I've had to learn some tough lessons, the hardest of which seems to be that you don't belong to me. I've been entrusted with your health, safety, growth, education and heart. But I cannot control who you become or how you choose to live your life when you no longer rely on me for those things. When the time comes you will have to go on this journey alone. I will be here to support you, but I cannot live your life for you. Here are some lessons I've learned that I hope you take with you on your journey.
You Were Born Good
When you were born into this world, you came with everything you needed. When I stop to really think about that, I am in awe, that we are born with all that we need for our journey. It seems magical and always reminds me that something is in perfect control of this world, a power greater than me, that I can trust made me and you just how we needed to be. As soon as you enter the world, it tries to change you. Know that you are already perfectly made for the journey you will take. You don't have to earn anything, change anything or deserve it. It is freely given to you to be enjoyed and lived. Your body, your mind, your thoughts, your journey are all unique and as such deserve to be honored by you. When you look at someone else's body, someone else's mind, someone else's thoughts or someone else's journey and think you wished you had gotten that instead, just remember that it wasn't meant for you. You already have all you need. You may not understand the journey you are asked to travel, but you can trust that it is part of the plan and contributes to the great cosmic story of this world.
Nobody Is Perfect
We are human and as such we will screw up. If we were perfect, we would have no reason to be here. Journeys are about learning, challenging, changing, and growing. All of your life you will be learning and growing along side every other human on the planet. I know that you will look at people and think that they know something you don't know and you will feel less than and maybe even jealous. And the thing is that they might know something you don't know, because that is a lesson they have already had on their journey, but your journey is different and you know things that they don't know. If you ask them nicely they might share what they have seen, learned, or experienced and when it shows up on your path someday you will remember their story and not feel so alone or different. Sharing your story is one of the kindest things you can do for others and as a side benefit is you will feel closer to others.
Don't Judge
Because your path is unique and your life circumstances are made just for you, you will never be able to know what it is like to be anybody but you. That means you cannot judge others. You don't know what is being asked of them or what journey they are being asked to take. They don't know yours either. Some may cross your path, see your actions and try to shame you for not being more like them. You will stand strong and know that it is just their opinion that they are allowed to have, but you will follow on your path anyway. Do not allow others to put shame on you and cause you to try and change your direction or yourself. Do not demand this of others either. You don't have to understand it but you do have to respect and accept it. Having empathy for the hard, unique journeys of this life, for yourself and others, is one of the greatest things you can do as a person. What you give out will come back to you.
There Are No Guarantees
Don't be fooled into thinking that there is one right path in life. Some might say or believe that you have to do certain things and you will be guaranteed a certain life. It isn't true. There are absolutely no guarantees in life. Trust your gut and know what it is that you are called to do. If you get it wrong, try again. Every day is a gift and there is no guarantee of tomorrow. Don't waste your time living someone else's dream or expectation. Experiences happen to everyone, you don't have to judge them as good or bad. Just know that there is a lesson in the experience to help you on your path and try to learn it.
Speak Up
Being empathetic and accepting doesn't mean that you let others bully you or push you around. I want you to know that you are strong and worthy of respect and love. When someone hurts you, say ouch. When someone shames you, say I don't deserve that, I am more than that. When someone raises their hand or voice to you, understand that you never deserve that and you can do whatever you need to do to get and stay safe. When someone withholds their love from you, tell them how it makes you feel and let them know you need it. It isn't weakness to ask for or need love, it is necessary for life. When you can do these things for yourself, then you have an obligation to do them for others. If you see someone being shamed, speak up. When you see someone being hurt, yelled at or hated, speak up. When you are strong and show up for others they learn how it is done. You are giving them a gift to help make their journey smoother. I'll admit that this is a part of my journey of life that I struggle with. I want you to know that it is okay to have weaknesses. You can keep trying anyway and you will make progress just like I am. I've had to have others stand up for me at times, when I couldn't do it for myself. This isn't weakness, it is learning. After I learn, I pass it on, hopefully to you.
It Isn't Out There, It Is Within You
Most of my life I thought I had to do something really big out in the world to earn my place here. What was I doing if I wasn't trying to solve the problems of the world? I had to think about how to end world hunger, create world peace, and save the animals. I always felt this big responsibility to change the world. That ended when I became a mom. I realized that the only thing I could do, the most important thing I could do, was to raise my children. In order to do that, I had to focus on myself and my life, not the lives of everyone else in the world. When I sat down and took a good look at myself, I realized that I wasn't even being the best me I could be. How could I convince the world to be better if I hadn't had that expectation for myself? How could I ask you, my children, to be the best people you could be, if I didn't know what that meant for me in my own life. My higher power gave you to me to bring me back to my path and for that I will be forever grateful. In return I am giving up the illusion that I can change, mold, or shape anyone but me. Especially not you. You can trust me with your safety, you can trust me with your education, you can trust me with your health and your heart. I will do all I can to meet those needs of yours. You can trust that I will be looking within myself to try to grow into who I was created to be and looking for my unique path for the rest of my life.
Go Forth
The kindest thing I can do for you is share my journey with you and listen as you travel yours. I will show you empathy as you travel, because I know it is hard, and never want you to feel ashamed of the struggle. I will speak up for you until you can do it for yourself, and then together we will speak for others until they can do it too. I will love you fiercely so that you know what kind of love you deserve. I will trust that, even when I don't understand your journey, I can believe that you can handle it. You were perfectly and uniquely made for it. The best thing that ever happened on my journey was the three of you.
Love,
Mom
