“It seems to come slow. It seems to be a surgery.
Forgiveness. Healing. Sobriety. Letting go. Starting over.
It seems to happen slowly over time.
One day at a time, the choice made new each morning.
Will you fight?
Will you fight to be healthy?
Will you fight to be free?
Will you fight for your story?
Will you fight to get the help you need?
Change takes more than a moment, but maybe there’s also something to this celebration of a moment, something to the way it speaks to us, something to the way we fear it, and dream it to be true. Maybe it’s the most honest moment of the year.
It’s possible to change.
Welcome to Midnight.”
- Jamie Tworkowski
The holidays--a time for love, family, and celebration. As Christmas comes and goes, we now look back at our year and reflect as we approach New Year's. We also look forward to the next year and what we want to gain. I’ve never been big on this, because I believe you always learn and grow at your own pace. I don’t need new years to tell myself what I want. But something about 2016 has me reflecting. In particular, I’m reflecting about my own journey to healing.
These last three years or so have been quite the journey for me personally. I experienced a journey of healing and forgiveness, with 2016 really being the year for that. I applied and got chosen to give a TED talk in part of TEDx in Erie, Pennsylvania. My talk was about the generational cycles of addiction, or more importantly so, my mother.
This talk took me months to prepare, and in the process led me to where I am in this very moment. I had to dig up all of my emotions surrounding my mother that I have carried for the past seven years that I’ve chosen to ignore and actually deal with them. I had to gather up the courage to walk on stage in front of so many, and be raw. I exposed myself in the truest emotional form of where I stood in regards to my journey with her. In the process, I had a lot of sleepless nights. I had to really come to terms with everything that has happened, and really allow myself to open up and experience what I’ve put off for so long. In this process alone, I realized that I was fighting for something I told myself every single year prior that I was going to fight for--forgiveness. For the past six or seven new years, I’ve told myself that the up-coming year would be a year of healing and empathy. The past six or seven years has been one giant journey, unfolding and happening slowly over time. Going through the process of giving a TED talk about my mother has led to an unbelievable amount of growth and healing for me in 2016. Now, as I reflect on this, I’ve come to realize that all of us are fighting. We make New Year's resolutions, but once the next New Year rolls around, we often joke how we threw our resolutions right out the window. What if we don’t? Our resolutions are journeys, happening slowly over time. They grow with us as we learn and grow. The change or growth we wish to see with ourselves needs more than a moment at midnight. Yet, there’s a glimpse of hope in that midnight moment where it all seems possible and bright. I encourage you to manifest that moment- to explore it. As we approach midnight, I hope 2017 is the year you gain what you’ve been trying so hard to obtain. I hope you reach your goals. And if you don’t--that’s okay. It’s okay if you didn’t lose those 20 lbs. It’s okay if you didn’t make that new career move. It’s okay if you didn’t make it without an anxiety attack. Why? Because we are works in progress. As we progress, so do those goals and aspirations.
So, as we enter midnight and begin 2017, I ask of you--keep fighting. Allow yourself to fight, to learn, and to grow. Allow yourself to start your intentions, and let them manifest in time. Do this, and watch how far you have actually gotten as you reflect next new year’s eve.
