CAUTION: Spoilers lie ahead.
I recently wrote about some of the top summer Netflix shows to binge and among them was Riverdale. I did my research and watched most of the shows but only saw the very first episode of Riverdale; because I knew I would be hooked. Then, one night instead of getting ahead on homework I decided to watch the entire first season and fit in an outstanding two hour nap before school. I do this to myself. While I was instantly hooked, I almost lit my computer on fire for wasting time asking if I was still watching. I was not blind to just how weird this show was at points. Screaming my reactions into the screen of my TV is a hobby of mine, so I can’t wait for the second season to be released. Here are some of my observations that I just cannot let go:
1.Cheryl. I can’t even put into words how much
I do not understand her and am ferociously annoyed with her existence.
2. Hey, Covergirl do you want to throw in a couple more product placements?
I mean why don’t you just have the entire cast wear t-shirts that say “Easy, Breezy, Beautiful-Riverdale.”
3. When everyone keeps talking about how hot Jason was and all I see is a vampire with neon orange hair.
(I think he looked less creepy with a bullet in his head).
4. Jughead…..Cole Sprouse’s characters name is Jughead.
5. Jughead's sister's name is Jelly bean.
JELLY-BEAN. Like I’m sorry were gummy bear and Starburst already taken??
6. When Betty goes all "Pulp Fiction"/dominatrix to reveal the football douche and walks out wearing a black wig.
I felt uncomfortable. Betty is a real freak.
7. Pet peeve in every high school based television show—how a group of kids dressed in all black are able to roam the empty halls after hours.
I couldn’t even get away with sneaking a bag of Chex-Mix from the vending machine during class.
8. Betty and Polly’s mom is off the charts on the bitch meter.
9. The fact that hot Archie chooses to be with a teacher named Geraldine.
10. Keeping with the weird names, the famously dangerous Serpant’s have a dog named Hotdog.
Not really mad at it, though.
11. Literally all of Cole Sprouse's lines are garbage.
12. Sister of the year Polly has no idea where her sister is and waits weeks before she makes a move to find her.
13. JASON AND POLLY ARE COUSINS.
If I had any money I would bet that the twins are going to be conjoined or have like 10 eyes and Blossom red hair.
14. Everyone knows of Cole Sprouse’s glow up but all we get is Jughead wearing a beanie and always explaining how weird he is.
15. The maple syrup shot picture.........*awkwardly tries not to burst out laughing.*
16. WOW who could’ve guessed Cheryl’s dad, with a wall full of red wigs, was mentally unstable.
17. Under no circumstances is it okay for anyone to shoot my O.G. 90210 bad boy crush Dillon.
18. Josie and the Pussycats….
I went to a Catholic school so the name alone wouldn’t fly but the leopard leotards were a nice cherry on top.
