I have spent the last four years of my life constantly worried about my weight, body image, and what others might think if they saw me in a bikini. Before high school, I never had to worry about the way other people saw me. I had never been to a public school and had never been exposed to some of the terrible things people my age might say. In an article published by the New York Times, facts are given about a study that shows that comments about weight had a negative impact on women, especially when the comment was said by their parent or family member. While I agree with this, I’d like to talk a little bit about the effect of comments said by friends, acquaintances, and even doctors. It hurts me more that I hear about my weight from people who don’t know me because they have no idea what I go through every day.

I would much rather hear that I need to lose some weight from my parent rather than going to my yearly check-up at the doctor’s office and finding out that according to their charts I am 20 pounds overweight. It damages my self-esteem especially when I ask myself why my mom didn’t think it was appropriate to tell me that I was a little bit overweight. My parents have never told me that I am overweight, and I think this is because they both struggle with obesity and therefore have no room to talk to me about what I weigh. They have also never completely supported me in my aspirations to lose weight. They constantly keep junk food in the house, and being healthy has never been a priority to them.

My body image has been a hot topic for me ever since I had to start changing in front of other girls for the gym in my freshman year of high school. I can only imagine what it would have been like had I gone to public school a few years earlier. The looks of disdain I received from the other girls who didn’t have an ounce of fat on their bodies and the whispers echoed in my mind all throughout gym class. I didn’t want to be bigger than the other girls; I wanted to look just like them. I began dieting to the best of my ability and exercising outside of school. I joined the swim team, and while I was still the biggest girl on the team, I had to do something to lose the weight that I thought was so visible on my body. I would compare myself to other girls every day because that’s what society told me I was supposed to do.

I have never worn a bikini before. This is mostly because I was never allowed to as a child. My parents are very conservative and they always taught me to not be a stumbling block to anyone around me. I respect that from my parents and I see why they would ask me to do that. It messed with my mind as I got older, though because I was uncomfortable by the time I was finally allowed to wear a bikini. As a lifeguard, I was asked to wear a bikini for my uniform. I was so uncomfortable with it in the beginning, but soon it became old hat. Once you finally just do something that makes you uncomfortable, you start to feel silly because of the fear you used to have from it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you are uncomfortable with your body weight, then you should do whatever makes you comfortable. If you want to lose weight, then do it for yourself. Don’t do it because someone else thinks that you should; do it because it’s what will make you a happier person. If you like yourself the way you are, then forget about what anyone else says about your body. It’s your life and if other people, especially your parents or family members, don’t like the way you are, then tell them to mind their own business because I guarantee you that they have something they need to work on. Empower yourself to be exactly who you want to be, and go out and rock this world!