By now all of you have heard or read about the Stanford rape case. I’m sure you’ve even seen pictures of the rapist all over social media. Just looking at his picture gives me the creeps. Even the photo where he is smiling and looks like a character straight out of Law and Order SVU.
Rape is rape. I don’t understand how anyone else can even find counter arguments in cases like these. If consent is not given, IT IS RAPE. PERIOD. If someone does not want to be touched and forced to do things they do not want to do, THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT. It does not get more simple than that.
Then we have the list of reasons why it always seems to be the survivor’s fault:
1. She/he was a tease, super flirty. Listen up, flirting is one thing and sex is another. Everyone flirts, does that mean that they instantly want to have sex with the person they are flirting with? NO.
2. She was wearing a short dress, skirt, etc. Okay, and what does that have to do with the fact that someone does not want to have sex with you? Stop paying attention to the clothing and PAY ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT THE PERSON IS SAYING NO.
3. "We were pretty drunk." Does not matter, if someone is slurring their words, "NO" STILL MEANS "NO."
The list unfortunately goes on and on. It’s pretty sad that in any case like this the survivor is the one to be blamed. But in this case particularly its just ridiculous. There were two witnesses who saw and tackled the rapist because he was thrusting himself onto this woman. What more evidence does someone need? Can we take a moment to applaud the two men who tackled the rapist and helped this woman out? Let's spread their names and bring attention to the fact that they did the right thing.
Real men step up to the plate and do the right thing. So thank you: Carl-Fredrik Arndt and Peter Jonsson. Mind you, she woke up finding out that other random objects were placed into her. Really? And this sick person still has the nerve to say it was the alcohol that led to all of this? Also has the audacity to say that he wants to be a spokesperson for the dangers of drinking on campus. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. Also, apparently six months in jail will have too much of an impact on the RAPIST. No justice what so ever. Please remove the judge who came up with that crappy decision. Also, the rapist’s father had the nerve to write a letter stating that his son is now a different person, he doesn’t eat his favorite snacks like he used to (What are we five years old? Who gives a crap about what freaking snacks this guy likes?!) and that any more time in jail would be harsh as a punishment. How about the survivor who has to live with the thought of someone hovering over her as she lies in bed for the rest of her life! You letter means nothing; it’s cute that you tried though. Take a seat.
Unfortunately rape occurs often and sadly is not reported in most cases, due to various reasons. Cases like this one have happened before but due to lack of attention by media, they are usually pushed to the side. There have been cases of rape in high schools, colleges and the list goes on. What makes my blood boil is the cases where it involves student athletes. I don’t give a damn about what position or team you play for, if you rape someone you’re a criminal and should be punished like one. If you have the common sense and logic to rape someone and think that you’ll get away with it because you have some sort of “God like” status at your school/team, then you’re the worst of them all.
When did it ever become okay to victim blame in any situation? When did we as a society say, yea this person was raped, lets just think of every possible reason that it could have been their fault. Instead of saying, hey lets teach people how NOT TO RAPE. There’s an idea! But no, we decide to look at music videos, magazines, TV shows, etc that show that women love being forced against their will and love being drugged. Yeah. It’s just as ridiculous as it sounds.
Now, I am not saying this only happens to women, because for as much as people don’t talk about it, it does happen to men as well. Men who have dealt with sexual assault, unfortunately are not likely to come forward about it. They don’t want to be seen as less of a man, be seen as weak, etc. Rape can happen to anyone: Any race, ethnicity, gender aside, it happens and it needs to be talked about more often. We need to educate our peers, co-workers and children about it. There are many survivors of rape that are too scared to come forward or even bring light to the subject because of all the back lash they receive. There have been many episodes on various television shows that highlight this issue and we need to continue talking about it. Every school should have lessons for everyone about self defense and how to maintain yourself during a night out, have back up plans etc. A person’s body is theirs, they should feel safe and comfortable in their own skin, imagine how they feel after an unwanted touch. Check out this video about rape culture and additional information.
As well as check out this powerful message that women in Brazil are sending to rapists.
As well check out the article about the two Swedish grad students by Carl-Fredrik Arndt and Peter Jonsson.