Halloween is quickly approaching; we know that because when October 1 begins to dawn the nation is given permission to dress however they damn well please. Y’know, with the excuse of, “I’m just so excited for Halloween!” Is there a right way or a wrong way to do this? Well, not exactly. Context and creativity are important. You can’t don a Jason mask at a kid’s costume party, but I’m sure you’re allowed to go to the bar in a pirate hat. But are there costumes you should probably avoid? Yep.

1. Witch

This one should be a no-brainer. For some reason this one is a frequent piece. Sure, if you want you can reenact Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible” if you reeeally want to. But, I mean, do you want to be stoned to death?

When folks think about witches they consider the "Wizard of Oz" kind of deal: pointy hat, huge nose, and black clothes. That, or, y’know, those short skirts and tight tops. If you want to be old fashioned and actually attempt this piece then I recommend you do some digging into the history of this. Unlike other Halloween monsters the witch actually existed. It’s not a fictional character like Frankenstein’s monster or Dracula. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Go ahead and Google the Salem witch trials. Don’t get too caught up in the politics of it. It was kind of like the dark ages of our country, and these people were sort of victims of their time. After you do all of that you can reconsider actually donning the black wardrobe. Not to be morbid, but there’s a list of women (and some men) you’d be mimicking (jeez, that got dark real quick, didn’t it?).

2. Cat

I can’t believe I actually have to list this one, hah. What’s the matter? Are dogs, elephants, horses, or otters not cool enough? Is it only possible to go the feline route? Maybe this is all tied in with our society’s obsession with cutesy cat photos (anyone here celebrate Caturday?). It boggles my mind how much people love cats even though it’s well known that they can be conniving, cold, heartless creatures. They’re always breaking your stuff, trying to trip you, and getting their fur all over your keyboards. And to reward them we dress up as them once a year. We have an opportunity to be whoever/whatever we want and we choose to be cats. I’ll never understand it.

3. Ghostface

I hope you reader folks know who I’m talking about. This is the dude from the Scream film series. You know, the killer with the long white mask and huge carving knife. People have gotten into the habit of calling him “Scream” instead of his/her actual name. That’s like when people go and call Link...well, not Link. They call him "Zelda." No, that’s not the name of the character. That’s the franchise they belong to. That’s like calling "Sesame Street" “Big Bird” instead of its actual name. Stop it. You’re being silly (and unoriginal--just stop dressing up as Ghostface).

4. Zombie

This is another one of those things that suffer from fads. Unlike vampires, witches, and pirates, these undead monsters weren’t exactly “mainstream” or popular until the past couple decades. They’ve been around for a mighty long time--they originate from Africa. It wasn’t until "Evil Dead" and "Night of the Living Dead" that they were introduced into our pop culture. But I really feel like Zombieland is what thrust it forward as a true mainstream fiend. Out of everything else on this list I seriously feel that this costume (along with the stereotypical skeleton face) are like cop outs for Halloween itself. It’s an easy costume that requires little to no prep time. Just smear on some grease paint and blood and you’re good to go, right? Nah, you’re not. This is overkill. You’re annihilating something that’s already supposed to be dead.

Anyone with a radio can keep up with billboard hits, right? So most of us can relate to what I’m about to say next. Everyone knows there’s always that one song that is a big hit and loved by all. It has a jammin’ beat, catchy lyrics that are fun to say, an easy chorus to remember, and so on. Maybe it’s also family friendly. Which, in my opinion, is always better because then you can crank it up when you have the kids in the backseat. But you know what happens after a couple weeks? You hear that song everywhere. It gets stuck in your head in a bad way. You change the station when it starts playing and funny enough it’s already playing on the next channel. Then...it happens: the song is overplayed. It’s killed. Gone. One hit wonder kind of deal.

That’s Halloween now. That’s what people are doing to these costumes. Stop the madness. Don’t contribute to these mistakes. Break the habit of uncreativity, folks.