I was in sixth grade when I decided that I would start valuing myself. It was all thanks to my childhood friend Samantha.

The story goes like this.

Diana: Hey Sam, my friend Sally told me that she thinks you are pretty.

Sam: (a smile appears on her face, she is flattered) Aww thanks, I’ve thought that about myself too.

Diana: Wait, you think you’re pretty?

Sam: Doesn’t every girl think they’re pretty?

This moment has stuck with me since it happened in sixth grade. “Doesn’t every girl think they’re pretty?”

I realized that I had never had this positive thought about myself, and I thought if I haven’t had it then many other girls didn’t think this about themselves. Sam said it as if it was an obvious truth that we should believe. I realized that I could live a much happier life if I had positive thoughts about myself. Samantha unknowingly shared a secret with me. Our confidence has to come from within; we can’t wait around for others to build it up for us.

We live in a world that has crazy unrealistic beauty “standards.” What we really need to promote is that there is no such thing as beauty standards. We are beautiful by our own standards.

Since the moment I had with Samantha I decided that I would learn to be comfortable in my own skin. And I was, I learned to love my short stature that was very functional. I loved my thick espresso brown hair. I loved my huge brown eyes and the dot on my face. I decided that my life would be less stressful if I was thankful for my body instead of comparing myself to other women. I vowed to never change anything about my appearance, what you saw was what you got.

That is until this past summer when I had a very minor plastic surgery and got my hair lightened.

I had a mark on my face that I called “my dot.” It was there for most of my life. It appeared probably around the age of 7 and kept growing and I just got used to it. This past spring my dad thought it was still growing and thought I should get it removed. My mom and I kind of agreed and in late June I had the dot removed. I was pretty upset for a few days after because I really missed it. It had become part of me and it made me feel individual. My whole life I had learned to value and love my body. I loved staying “natural.” I never wanted to alter or change anything about myself because I thought it was fake. So I felt pretty guilty for surgically removing something that was part of me. Then after five years of contemplating coloring my hair, I took the plunge and dyed my hair a week ago.

And now I have a clear face and lighter hair. I love this new look. I realized that I am still the same person and that overall I don’t look any different. Yes, there are some slight modifications. But, I think after 20 years I was ready to try something different. I think I am happy with my “new look” because the changes didn’t come from insecurity. The mole on my face was removed for health precautions and the coloring of my hair was for fun. I thought about it for five years and realized that I had to stop overthinking everything. It’s just hair!

Make up, surgeries, and hair dye aren’t what make us beautiful. Beauty is something that we all are the minute we are born. We all possess a beauty that is unique and meant for us. We should feel comfortable in our skin and be thankful for our bodies; because it is awesome that our bodies can heal our bruises and cuts and protect our organs, and so much more scientific jazziness that I can’t wrap my head around.

Now I have a small scar where my dot once was, and I love the scar. It’s my body’s way of healing and I will thank my body by respecting myself rather than comparing and complaining about my appearance.

Believing that you are beautiful does not make you vain. I think that knowing your worth and beauty is more about self-respect. So gracefully accept compliments, give your self-compliments, and give compliments to others. Be the Samantha; show people that they should have self-love. Because, “Yes, every girl should think they are pretty!”