One of the many bad habits that has been sewn into the fabric of today's society is the tendency to romanticize depression. Thanks to social media posts, fictional TV shows, and cheesy quotes, people have acquired the gross misconception that depression is "beautiful," "transformative," "poetic," and even "romantic."
Unfortunately, this skewed portrayal of depression could not be further from the truth. As a society, we need to stop glorifying depression and come to see it for what it really is. Depression is pain, emptiness, and darkness. It is not beautiful.
So, let's now take a moment to break down some of the many misconceptions that feed the romanticization of depression.
“She was tragically beautiful.”
Depression is not pretty. There is nothing desirable about waking up with tear-stained cheeks and splotchy pillows because you cried yourself to sleep (again) at 2:30 in the morning.
Scars are not marks of beauty. There is nothing pleasant about the faded lines that remind you of how it felt to lose a battle in the war against yourself. They are a hassle to cover up, a burden to explain, and physically painful to live with.
Being too sad to eat is not attractive. There is nothing fashionable about shedding pound after pound because you are too numb to feel hungry and lack the motivation to eat.
Depression is tragic. Tragedy is not beautiful. Remember that.
“She was searching for a light at the end of the tunnel."
Depression is not an enlightened growing experience. There is nothing transformative about just trying to "get through the day." If you are only fighting to survive, you are not actually living. Yes, you may be existing in the world, but you are not thriving or experiencing life's joys, and that is a damn shame.
Moreover, with depression, beauty does not come from the pain. The disease is not a learning experience to feel "thankful for." Depression is a dark, painful reality that can come and go at any time, not a one-time event.
So, instead of getting wrapped up in finding " the light at the end of the tunnel," think about how much better life would be without ever being stuck in that scary tunnel in the first place.
“He was an angel with broken wings.”
Depression is not poetic. There is nothing literary about feeling lost and helpless in your own skin. If you suffer from depression, you are not merely a living metaphor. You are not "an angel with broken wings" or "a sinking ship." You are a human being who is suffering from a disease that warrants care and attention.
Moreover, depression is not "waiting for your rainbow to come after the rain." Instead, it is being unable to see the sun, the rainbow, or the blue sky, even after the rain has long passed.
To perceive depression as a poetic condition is to shed a positive light on human suffering. There is no reason to glorify sleepless nights, loss of interest, social isolation, or suicidal thoughts. Suffering is not metaphorical.
"He kissed her scars away."
Lastly, depression is not romantic. There is nothing whimsical or fairytale-like about having a mental disorder.
People with depression are not characters in a romance novel. Falling in love does not make the daily struggles of living with depression just disappear. Mixing depression and relationships is difficult. It is hard to explain depression to your partner when you may not even understand your own feelings. On top of that, your partner may feel helpless or overwhelmed by the situation.
Scars cannot be kissed away; the answer is not that simple.
So, if there is one thing that can be taken away from this long rant, it is that our society needs to stop portraying depression as a romantic experience. Depression is a disease, not a metaphor, a storyline, or a "beautiful tragedy."
Stop romanticizing things that hurt.
