A few days ago, I had someone inform me that I was weird, because in terms of the future, I didn't want kids, but rather a lifelong career. Naturally, I reacted the way any woman would in this situation, I got angry. Not only was I was angry at the fact that another female had made a comment on how I wanted to live MY life, but also I was angry because she is what it wrong with the female population today. I’ve heard this quote a million times in my life, and each time it resonates differently, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” Madeleine Albright illustrates the exact issue facing women today: we constantly push each other down, rather than build each other up.
Think about it.
How many times have you called another woman a bitch because she got something or had something that you didn’t? It’s so not much that we don’t want her to have something, just to have IT, but that we want IT for ourselves.
And if we can’t have it?
If we can’t have her brains, beauty, achievements, life or charisma? Well we can always refuse to acknowledge it. We can refuse to celebrate her. We can ignore her. Or worse, we can mock or gossip about her. We can berate her and her choices.
We demean each other in the worst ways possible, and anyone you ask will tell you that females are just straight up mean to one another. As women, we have such a hard time celebrating one another. We criticize any flaw we can find and knock each other down on the heels of our successes. In fact, we are often our own worst enemies, and as an oppressed group of people, we have turned on each other instead of fighting the very system or people who oppress us. By women doing exactly this, we are contributing and have contributed to our own oppression.
Seriously people, there’s literally a WikiHow page with eight steps on “"How to Stop Hating Other Women". It's like we're making ourselves into some sort of joke.
When I started writing this article, I began researching facts. Things that I thought would help prove why not having kids could be acceptable in this day and age, in order to help people recognize the societal implications women are faced with daily. But then I thought, you know, this really doesn’t matter at all. I can present you all the statistical data of the impact of having children while trying to progress in the workplace, but it truly will not matter. Because the fact is: I DO NOT WANT KIDS. And I think instead of bashing the idea, other women should recognize the drive and ambition it must take to want a career, specifically one in politics.
So here are a few words of advice to all women out there:
You must be willing to support and encourage and defend other women, so that they may advocate for you. Be happy for the woman who receives a pay raise, gets a new job, starts a non-profit or just overall does something good with her life.
Celebrate a woman’s achievements by complimenting her or recognizing what she does, not berating her for what she doesn’t do. Remember that we are all in this together, and that when you help other women succeed, they have a reason to help you.
This is how it works people!!
The possibilities are endless for women who support and love each other. Imagine how bright our overall light could become if we all celebrated one another. And when you feel yourself slipping, and in need of a helping hand, reach out to one of your sisters. Because I can promise she’ll be there.
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family; whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” –Jane Howard
