My first response: fear. My second response was terror for my friends. And my third? To burst into tears.

i remind myself that there are checks and balances, that he cannot possibly destroy what we have built. But it does nothing to calm the sobs of terror ripping through my teeth, as I clutch my roommate for dear life. I cannot stop thinking about those I love and how this will endanger them. How it will endanger me.

As the shock of the results came in, I was happily singing with my roommate, trying to get us both to calm down. Her boyfriend was there, and we all did a wonderful job meeting the harmony. As I was in the middle of a lyric, I checked the election results on Google for the thousandth time, to see that Donald Trump had won the presidency. A sound of horror escaped me and I remembered my friends. I tried to hide the laptop; I didn't want it to be true to them just yet. My roommate told me calmly that she needed to know, and as fear crashed down on me I let her see. I thought I would be the one comforting her, but she calmly took me into her arms and I let fear take control. My entire body trembled as scalding tears fell, and sobs heaved from me. in an effort to be calm, I called my significant other to video chat, but I couldn't speak. This fear that I felt was real, and it was the most I had cried for my friends since the Orlando shooting in Pulse nightclub.

This reaction is what most of my friends, if not all of them, had. The next morning I woke to dread in my heart, and I rolled over, too cowardly to face my morning class. I took an exam that day, in a haze of tears. I spent the day in the Gender Equity Resource Center, crying with my family there. We were all in varying stages of shock and disbelief. We felt a mix of terror and optimism as we each took our turns consoling each other. One moment I was telling someone encouraging words, and the next I was sobbing in the arms of someone that I loved.

This fear is real. We are afraid because we were reminded that the world hates us. Who are we? We are your African American Friends, your LGBTQ+ friends, your Mexican friends, your Muslim friends, your friends who are women; we are everyone that Donald Trump has attacked this election. You can tell us that he supports us with articles on Facebook, or with your facts you have collected, but it is a slap in the face. If you have the privilege to tell me that I have no reason to be afraid, you also have the privilege to show others that there are reasons to be afraid. If you are unafraid, you have no right to tell me how this affects me. This fear is real.

I want to say one more thing: we are still here. This election may be scary, it may threten everything we have worked so hard to overcome, but I want to remind you; We are still here. We have always been here. We will always be here. They can never take away our existence and they can never take away our integrity. We are still here.