Yes, I realize I flipped that phrase on its head. But, how many times have you heard the phrase “blood is thicker than water”? Science-wise, yes, that statement is very true. But, have you ever really thought about it in depth?

For those who don’t know, the phrase is a metaphor that means family is stronger than anything else in this world, such as friendship. I’m going to give you a perspective that challenges this view. I’m not saying I hate my family or that we don’t get along, believe me, my mom is my best friend in this whole wide world. My stepdad, my little brother, my dad, my aunts and uncles and my grandparents are all people I love and cherish every day. They are my family and have known me since the day I was born. They have seen me grow as the years fly by. Their attachment has been because they have seen how I started and how every day I change.

Now, I’m not trying to say family isn’t important because it truly is one of the most amazing aspects that make us human. However, I ask you to think about your closest friends. Think about the laughs, the adventures, the lunch dates and sleepovers where you stayed up for hours talking about the deepest moments in your life. Makes you smile doesn’t it. Now think about all the fights, the days you gave each other “the stare”, the texts left unread and the countless people in your life constantly bombarding you with the phrase “are you guys ok?”. Now I hope your smile didn’t fade too much. While the good has outweighed the bad, did you ever stop to think why that friend stayed in your life? Why did you decide to apologize and renew your love?

In every fight with a friend, I have felt some inherent force pushing me to save that friendship. A feeling in my heart that told me to fight to keep that person in my life. In turn, they accepted the apology or apologized to me. They chose to remain in my life. Friendship is not a requirement. Not that family is either, but your family has a biological connection to you. Your friends have no connection other than some good conversations to start with. Your friends take you as you are. As time passes by you have adventures together, late night study sessions, crying over a lost love, and even binging on your favorite flavor of ice cream after a hard workout. Your friends, they choose to go through the good and the bad with you and nothing is forcing them to stay there.

Friends are family. The main difference is you choose that part of your family. You choose to allow that person into your heart and into your life. No paperwork, DNA test, or anything ties us together with our friends, except for experiences. Experiences are certainly thicker than blood. Trials and tribulations shape who we are and who we want to be. They help us choose our college, our career paths, who we want to marry and how we want people to remember us when we die. All of this I have gained through my friends.

The stories I will tell my children will not be about Christmas dinner at my aunt’s house. I will share stories about the first boy to break my heart and my best friend who picked up the pieces. I will tell them about being a ridiculous freshman in college and walking back from a party at Cornell with my roomie and our floor mates. I will tell them about all these amazing people who found their way into my life and how I don’t know how I ever survived without them. Friends truly do become your family.