Anyone who knows me knows that I am generally very open about my past relationships and dating experiences. I don’t choose to hide my failed stabs at teenage love, mostly because I am not embarrassed about the guys I have dated or who has broken my heart. Most of the time, I enjoy when people talk about these experiences with each other. It gives us all a little hope that maybe one day, we will finish all the trials and errors of dating and finally find “the one.”

As I look back on these last four years, I’ll admit that I’ve had a pretty long list of trials (and errors) in teenage dating. When high school first started, the dating began, and with it the pressure to find a long-term relationship. That was my goal. I would be one of the couples who would be able to post one-year anniversary pictures, who would stay with one another all throughout the struggles of high school. I went on many dates, and I was talking to quite a few people. But to my surprise, as the number of failed attempts at relationships slowly climbed, so did the negative comments and critiques of my friends and acquaintances at school. I began to hear false rumors spread about the boys I hung out with and “how far we had gone.” People began to expect that my standards were at rock bottom and that I was desperate for attention. Most burning in my mind, I began to be labelled by many people as the “school slut.”

Sadly, being a girl in high school automatically creates a stigma toward the number of relationships and dates that is “acceptable.” Like many girls, the word “slut” is a word that is not unfamiliar to me. I heard the word spit at me for the first time at 13 while walking down the street with a friend. There we were, unveiling the candy we had just bought from Rite Aid when a man in a truck rolled down his window and shouted profanities at us. I laughed it off, while my more courageous friend shouted “F*ck you!” at the exhaust as he rolled away. The weight of his words had barely sunk in as I questioned why a middle-aged man would be harassing two middle schoolers buying candy.

Similar to these thoughts, as I first heard this label of being the “school slut,” I thought, “Why would anybody be calling me a slut? I haven’t even had sex.”

The word “slut” is overused and stigmatized in a way that is almost impossible to avoid. Girls can easily stumble over the label with a shirt cut too low, a vicious rumor spread, or, in my case, the reputation of a “serial dater.” This word has stretched farther than its definition and it is now a way of controlling and shaming teenage girls into abstinence and modesty. Now, any girl who makes the decision to have sex is automatically a “slut.” I thought I was just having fun. I was going on casual dates, talking to boys, and enjoying the fleeting nature of teenage romance. Somehow, to my peers, this translated into my being the “school slut.”

I shrugged off these comments as best as I could. Although some of my more bitter ex-boyfriends lie and say otherwise, I am completely, 100 percent a sexless virgin. But even if I did choose to have sex, would it be anyone else’s business? Would I deserve any more the title of the “school slut” if I actually did have sex all the time?

The answer is no. No girl deserves the weight of any type of shame. Most would agree that the irony of being labelled the “school slut” as a virgin is completely absurd. But what is even more concerning is that this word is still used constantly, by both females and males.

Over the years, I’ve learned to not lose sleep over the labels that other people give me. Nonetheless, we as a society must work to eliminate the stigmas of sexuality, especially in teenage girls. Support each other. Let people date and love whomever they want. And especially to girls, realize that your body is completely your own and realize the strength and worth in that. Do not appraise a woman based on her own decisions with her body and life.