For the entirety of my life, one of my specialties (some might say flaws) is and always has been worrying. Anything you can imagine causes some sort of anxious feeling inside of my body. Somehow, I can not seem to grasp the idea that our life is already planned out, and now all we have to do is live it.
I mean, is that true? Every time we make a decision, was that decision already planned for us to choose? Any time we change our college major, is that changing our life path or staying on track?
You see, this idea has plagued me for quite some time now. I truly believe that we all have our own fate and it's our job to discover it. Because at the end of the day, whatever happens happens, right? Each individual event that occurs in our daily lives cannot be changed once it has happened. What worries people who are constantly thinking the most is that there is no “eraser” on life. Though second chances do exist, the first one remains under your belt as well.
This is why we, as humans, hate the idea of “errors” in decision making. We don't like to screw up, and when we do, it is impossible to hit “undo” or “try again”. Part of living is making mistakes in order to learn valuable lessons, but I can't help but wonder if these mistakes were already “programmed” into our lives. So, if this is the case, the question remains: Why worry if this is the way my life is supposed to go?
If “everything will be okay”, why do I continuously worry about things like arguments, heartbreaks, and life in general? I'll tell you why: It's because the life chosen for me may not always be the one I want at that time. Sure, when things don't go my way, I don't always handle it in an ideal way. As soon as I have an idea of what I want my life to look like going forward, I find out an aspect of it, large or small, is inaccurate. And unfortunately, this will keep happening whether I feel it's right or not. No idea a person has in mind for their life is set in stone. Life has a surplus of unexpected outcomes, so worrying is the ultimate defense mechanism to attempt to prepare for them.
I'm sure I'm not alone in this thinking process, or at least I hope not. So this one’s for all the worriers of the world. This is to let you know you are not alone. Oh, and about those nights you spent up for hours contemplating your life? Someone was always right there with you. Worriers are just over thinkers of curiosity. Because what would this world be without wondering if something is possible or not? We're a population of beautiful minds that challenge what the world may give us. And honestly, I don't know if there's anything stronger than that.
