Well, folks, it’s that time of year again! That’s right, suit up because we are waging a war on Christmas.
Now the plans are still being worked on but we PC crazed, liberal, atheists are taking bold steps beyond what we have done in years past.
It won't just be Starbucks taking Christmas off of their cups this year, in fact, everyone will be taking Christmas off of their cups, they aren't even going to have cups. We are forcing everyone to drink their “every holiday but Christmas” beverages out of the skulls of the children us Satanic Atheists sacrifice every Sunday while the Christians are at church.
We are getting teams together to go all around the country changing every nativity scene into homosexual orgies. All of your precious little baby Jesus’ are going to be surrounded by hardcore male on male Christmas themed sex. Just kidding, it won't be Christmas themed. We’re destroying Christmas, remember?
Don’t expect to be buying yourselves any of those trees that you claim to be “Christmas trees.” Actually, before I explain what we are doing to the trees, they are not Christmas trees most are Fir, Pine, Spruce, Cypress, or Cedar trees. They are not Christmas trees, you can’t even label them like that they aren't even the same species of tree as a whole. Anyway, don’t expect to be buying any, we have already pre-bought every one of your precious trees and we are in the process of destroying every one of them on the planet. We are having a huge bonfire where we will be using bibles as kindling.
Santa Claus has already been abducted from the North Pole, we will be broadcasting his execution live on every television station and all over the internet. Your little Christian children will not receive presents and they will finally know the truth that none of you Christians want them to know. Santa Claus is a Middle Eastern man.
We have contracted gangs and have paid off the police, anyone caught singing Christmas Carols will be either brutally beaten or arrested on the spot. Anyone caught saying Merry Christmas will suffer a similar fate.You have been warned. Do not try and stop us, we have grown far too powerful. This year Christmas will DIE!