The concept of loving yourself has always been an elusive entity. Sure, it sounds simple enough. Yet, from my experience, it’s often the things that seem simple in theory are really the hardest to achieve. Ever since publishing my first article last week, several people have asked me one very interesting question: what does it really mean to truly love yourself? If I am being completely honest, I don’t know. It might be decades before I completely figure it out for myself. But after talking to my incredibly wise uncle and a few of my close friends, I feel like I’ve gotten one step closer to reaching clarity. While there are several components to obtaining this ideal state, I now believe that the key is one of the most powerful battles we struggle with in our day to day lives; achieving balance.

Now, you are probably wondering; this chick is crazy - what the heck does balance have to do with any of this? And while normally I would agree that I took one too many rides on the outlandish train, It really does make sense when you think about it. Life, in all regards, is one big balancing act. Whether it be with displaying our emotions, eating food, or making time for work and fun, we are constantly striving to stay within our boundaries (for the most part). And while my closeted chocoholic might disagree (Chocolate is LIFE), too much of a good thing isn’t healthy. This is especially applicable to how we view ourselves. Being confident in ourselves is extremely important, but the moment we take it to an extreme and become egotistical we are creating the path for our own destruction. There is a reason why hubris (pride) was a common fatal flaw for the heroes of ancient Greek tragedies. Their inflated pride and overconfidence in their abilities led them to do things that were reckless and risky, and as a result they faced severe and dramatic downfalls.

The same thing goes for when we become excessively negative and self-deprecating. When we become over critical of ourselves, we become less equipped in handling the daily struggles we face in our lives. The moment we encounter an obstacle, we just roll over and accept defeat because we honestly believe that there is no way we could possible overcome it. Metaphorically speaking, the obstacle could be the size of a chocolate crumb (is my obsession clear yet) but even though we are the size of Donald Trump’s ego or my dad’s hair circa 1980 (hint: both are/were HUGE), we still believe that we can’t step over it. And everyone knows that Donald Trump’s ego can basically TRUMP (ha!) anything, let alone a tiny crumb.

Crappy puns and metaphors aside, the point is this attitude is incredibly dangerous because the ONLY opinion worth caring about is the one we make for ourselves. But when we don’t take care of ourselves or try to maintain a balanced perspective, we leave ourselves susceptible to judging ourselves based on how others see us. And that is a surefire way to make yourself miserable. No one knows you better than you do. It’s easy for people to judge others, and trying to appease everyone is virtually impossible. Nobody is perfect, we are human after all, but all those mistakes we make, all the flaws and odd quirks we possess are what make us such beautiful, unique, and amazing creatures. So if you really want to take the first step in truly loving yourself, accept yourself for who you are and don’t let the highs and lows of life drag you down. The rest will fall into place.