I haven’t been to church in months. A lot of months. It wasn’t out of spite or anything that I haven’t been, I had just caused too much drama and needed some time. Or maybe it was out of spite, who knows. I used this time to get out more, experience life more. I did a lot of stupid stuff, not like I didn’t do that before, but these were just more visible. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good time but the pills, drinks and powder got old after some time. This isn’t meant to be an “oh my Blake got into bad stuff” post, because honestly I didn’t go that far down that road and trust me there are others who have gone farther than I have so I don’t think I am that cool. This also isn’t an “oh look Blake caught himself before he went down the wrong road” kind of post because I still have issues and still find the wrong ways to solve them. This isn’t a “let me tell you how to live post” because I can’t even figure that out myself. This is a “we are all on the wrong road, with no exit in site” kind of post.

There were many weekends I told myself I was going to go back to church. But Saturday night always ended up being longer than it was supposed to. Going out for a drink turned into two, turned into three, turned into oh shit I slept in. Then I thought maybe I would try to find my bible, that might help right? I searched everywhere, couldn’t find it. It wasn’t until my brother was interested in reading the bible that I actually dug for mine and found it in the trunk of my car underneath a swisher wrapper. With the pages all folded and bent, it still didn’t get me into a church. Which was fine, I didn’t want it to be a forced thing. If I was going to go back, I wanted it to because I wanted to go back. Eventually I found myself on my way to church, with my folded bible and baggage fully loading the back seat.

My culture and surroundings often preach the message that church is for those that have their lives together. It is for those that are living the life that we should be living. The life that is meant for the goody goods and holy ones. For those of us that are sinners and reckless, we aren’t welcome. Actually it is often thought we will ignite upon walking through the church doors. Memes and sayings make their rounds in the culture about catching fire walking into a church, because of our sinfulness. God has nothing to do with us because we aren’t living the way he says we should, and apparently those that go to church are. He can’t stand you and therefore has no choice but to turn you into flames as you cross into his territory.

Well I have come back from the other side to tell you, I smell nothing of ashes or sulfur. No flames or fire came upon me as I walked in. No judgment, no anger, no spitefulness fell upon my weary soul. As a matter of fact, I think God likes me. I think he likes you. I think there is a whole lot of grace found in the blood spilt on the cross. I think there is a whole lot of grace waiting for us sinners, because that’s all there is. Sinners. Those that go to church and those that don’t, we are all the same. If the fire rumor was true, churches would be set ablaze all over the world. Thankfully the air smells of grace and not smoke.