This is not going to be the story of my first kiss. I would tell you that story, but it would be complete fiction, and I don't plan on making anything up today. Rather, I will be sharing the story of why my first kiss is an occurrence yet to exist. And I am not looking for any pity, because, oddly, this fact makes me quite proud.

In college, it becomes difficult to find confidence as one who has yet to kiss a boy, because here, 'kissing boys' is a polite way to sum up everything that takes place over the weekends. If I'm not 'kissing boys,' what am I doing? If I'm not 'kissing boys,' do I even leave my room at all? (Yes. Yes I do.) Girls talk openly about 'kissing boys,' which I don't mind, but they do it with an air of assumption that everyone in the circle can relate. And most can. It's funny to sit there and nod my head when what I'm hearing sounds almost like a foreign language.

To attack my main point, why have I not kissed a boy? I think the first thing that must be said is that because I don't drink, I don't happen to fall into situations where I am suddenly 'kissing boys.' I know that's how it goes down for a lot of us, purposefully or accidentally.

I can sum up by calling myself a romantic. Yes, I am waiting for the right boy to come around, one who respects me when sober, takes me on a few real dates, gets to know me. On that first date, maybe he kisses me on the cheek. Maybe. But he respects me and respects the pace of a new relationship, so maybe not, and that's perfectly ok. I'm waiting for someone who is willing spend a couple nights just talking before our lips do any more.

In today's hook-up culture, I sound like a lunatic, like I'm stuck in the 50s, yearning for courtship, yearning for him to give me his pin so we can go steady. And maybe I am crazy, which is why I have yet to find anyone willing to go this route with me. Honestly, maybe I've just watched too many movies.

But I am proud of where I find myself. Similar to the fact that I don't hate all who drink because I choose to remain sober, I don't hate all who fling themselves into this hook-up culture just because it's this hook-up culture that repels me personally. I don't condone it, as most people participating seem to get along just fine and happily, so good for them. It's just not a notion that makes me comfortable. The term 'hook-up' itself has taken on so many meanings throughout my brief lifetime that I barely know what it truly stands for anymore. To me, there is a superficial air around the idea of going off with someone you may never have spoken to, and 'kissing' him or her. Where is the point? If it is true relationships you want, why not wait? Granted, I don't actually know what happens during hook-ups, so if to hook-up means to take a walk, get to know each other, then spend some time kissing, that sounds great, and my point is moot!

But something tells me that's not what it means.

I am a romantic in the sense that I don't want to waste myself. And yes, if what I say makes you unhappy, or makes you feel criticized, I apologize. But 'kissing boys' just for the sake of 'kissing boys,' for the sake of telling your friends all the boys you 'kissed' or being able to cross a category off your master list... I can't even begin to see the appeal.

So no, I have not kissed anybody yet, but I certainly want to. And I am proud that I hold myself to high enough standards to not hand this privilege to just anybody. I am looking for somebody in particular, somebody who is looking for me in return. I want my first kiss to be as special as it is in the movies, in fairytales, because that's what we all deserve.

And as a note to the boy who claims this future honor, I apologize in advance for my lack of experience.