We live in an age of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and whatever other platforms I'm clearly out of touch with.
Because of this, we live in an era of COMPARISON. While we compare our lives to almost everyone else's, I think the most dangerous thing to compare is our relationships.
Why didn't my boyfriend think of a better way to ask me to prom? Why didn't my fiance come up with a more creative way to propose? Why didn't my husband cry on our wedding day? And why does everyone know about these moments in our lives? Because we post it, of course!
So if your posts about these things don't get so many likes, does that mean your love is less significant? Less real?
Why is it only the BIG gestures that count?
We don't give our men enough credit, and I'm so guilty of this too. I remember joking with my husband shortly after he proposed saying "so is that the last time you will ever be romantic again, then?"
While big gestures can make you feel absolutely on top of the world, it is the little, everyday ways of romance that truly are the big things.
My husband loves me in the way he tiptoes to our bed to stroke my hair and gently kiss my forehead as he leaves for work, making sure I stay fast asleep. He loves me by lending his listening ear while I go on and on about essentially nothing but he still offers the best advice, feedback, or comic relief. He loves me in the way he says it with his eyes and the soft smile that creeps across his lips. He loves me in the way he still kisses me like he's never kissed anyone before, despite my horrendous morning breath. He loves me by always encouraging me to lie down, take a bath, or treat myself. He loves me by knowing my limits, and silently removing the burden off my shoulders and placing it on his own. He loves me with his gratitude of every meal I place in front of him, regardless of how good it actually tastes. He loves me with the way his foot always finds a way to mine as he begins to fall asleep because I know he can't sleep without my touch. He loves me by putting up with leaving the TV on at night just so I can sleep even though that means he cannot. He loves me each second of every day as he constantly puts myself and the kids ahead of himself, sometimes even in ways I don't realize.
These. These are the moments that truly matter. They are the moments that are so pure, and so real that they are not shared with the rest of the world.
We are always waiting for the big gestures that happen once in a blue moon that we forget to stop and take in the romance that fills each and every day.
The next time you scroll across Facebook and see all these "romantic" relationships, don't give your hubby the stink eye from across the dinner table, or refuse to greet him when he walks in the door from work because he isn't carrying an enormous bouquet of roses "just because."
Remember that sometimes those couples are really trying to prove something to everyone else, and maybe even themselves.
Maybe the big, extravagant date night is to make up for the fact that he hit her the night before. Or that bouquet of flowers is an "I'm sorry I got caught cheating." You never know the ins and outs of others' relationships. To be honest, I think that makes healthy relationships all the more beautiful, and more than anything, intimate.
The times that truly measure the love in a relationship, are the ones that are not shared with others. I'm so thankful to have someone to love me fiercely all of my days, and not just some.
When you take the time to focus on your own relationship and appreciate the things that make your love YOURS, you will be so much more content. Your love will thrive that much stronger. You will appreciate the small things that are just as important as the big ones. Oh, and your husband will thank you!
Soak in all the moments, don't just wait for the next big one to come along. Life is too short to not enjoy the time in between.
