Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please stop asking me
To have sex with you
Valentine's Day, we have a love/hate relationship, you and I. As much as I'd love to journey down that deep dark hole that I call my love life, I'll just push those emotions down for a few more years. Instead, I'd love to focus on a more pressing topic that I've been dealing with ever since I first started getting into online dating. I have no problems with the idea of using an app to find your next significant other, what I do have a problem with is the unwanted verbal and sexual harassment I and many other women have to deal with on the daily while using these dating apps, such as the ever so popular Tinder.
Oh yes Tinder, do I have a bone to pick with you. See I have downloaded, deleted, and re-downloaded the Tinder app at least 15 times, and each time I curse myself because I know exactly why I'll end up deleting it within a week. I'm almost guaranteed to be bombarded by idiots asking me to perform obscene sex acts on them, or in some extreme cases, a guy would blatantly send me a picture of his junk. Thank God that Tinder did away with it's "moments" feature, so now I don't have to worry about unsolicited pictures of male genitals popping up on my phone.
Most women have had their fair share of experiences almost identical to mine while using online dating apps. Almost every single one of them agrees that these messages aren't "sexy" and in no case does it make the receiver of those messages want to have sex with you, sorry to spoil your fun boys. Yes, I meant to say, boys, because men understand that women want to be wined and dined not virtually cat-called. So please be kind and rewind before you decide to send yet another message to a poor girl just trying to find a nice guy to get coffee with. Your future self and your male counterparts will thank you later, I promise.
Now ladies, here are some tips on how to deal with these "hopeless romantics."
You could...
1. Participate in #WasteHisTime2016 and troll him. Maybe send a middle finger emoji or one of my go-to's which are the scissor and eggplant emoji's. They really get the point across! Bonus points if he calls you crazy afterwards!
2. You could pull a Lori Zalabak and take a screen-cap of the gross message and try to send it to his mom via Facebook messenger. Expose his a**!
3. Or lastly, you could do the "mature" thing and block/report him.
Honestly, I've only used tips 1 and 3, but if I've had a bad day and your message is truly repulsing, your mom just might be getting a surprise message from me, you've been warned. Anyways, Happy Valentine's Day to you all who have already found that significant other, and as for the rest of us, I wish you good luck in your online dating endeavors. I hope prince charming sweeps you off your feet, or at the least offers to buy you a drink sometime.
