Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women
Start writing a post

Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women

Dissecting the myth society wants you to believe.

Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women

Virginity is a topic many can't seem to agree on. If sex is truly as broad as we say it is, how do we constitute who we consider a virgin and who isn’t? And why does it matter?

Firstly, we need to do away with the idea that penetration is the only way to have sex, while it is in fact only one of many. We often forget about same-sex couples in this discussion. Although a lesbian couple may not be able to be intimate through penetration, this does not mean their own form of intimacy should be demeaned just because it does not fit our social standards of what we consider to be normal.

From a young age, it’s been embedded in me that sex is painful, that it changes us women forever and it should only be done with “the one” because you will find yourself having an attachment to that person to the rest of your life. Men, on the other hand, have been encouraged from that very same young age to experiment with girls in ways they may not be ready for. If by chance they fail to do so by a certain age, they are viewed as weak and not man enough.

Ultimately, I have grown to understand that virginity was coined as a term in order to shame women from their sexual experiences. I grew up assuming that you truly lose a piece of yourself when you decide to engage in sex, that the first time involves a torn hymen and blood. I was surprised to learn that a hymen can tear through innocent activities like sports or an injury, or that this membrane will thin out all on its own by the time we become sexually active. The biggest game changer for me was learning that hymens already have opened slits that stretch during sex and birth, and that it is very uncommon for it to tear, thus doing away with the idea that one's body is forever changed after sex.

Moving forward, we need to stop claiming women are damaged once losing their virginity. We need to stop interpreting her worth based on how many partners she has had. The reality is that we lose no part of ourselves during the process. It is not something we can give and take. It shouldn’t be spoken of to younger girls as a commodity, something special that once given away, they can never get back. With time, my hope is that future generations will not shame others for their own personal experience, but that they will allow others to feel pleasure instead of fear.

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments