Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women
Start writing a post

Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women

Dissecting the myth society wants you to believe.

Virginity Is A Social Construct Created To Shame Women

Virginity is a topic many can't seem to agree on. If sex is truly as broad as we say it is, how do we constitute who we consider a virgin and who isn’t? And why does it matter?

Firstly, we need to do away with the idea that penetration is the only way to have sex, while it is in fact only one of many. We often forget about same-sex couples in this discussion. Although a lesbian couple may not be able to be intimate through penetration, this does not mean their own form of intimacy should be demeaned just because it does not fit our social standards of what we consider to be normal.

From a young age, it’s been embedded in me that sex is painful, that it changes us women forever and it should only be done with “the one” because you will find yourself having an attachment to that person to the rest of your life. Men, on the other hand, have been encouraged from that very same young age to experiment with girls in ways they may not be ready for. If by chance they fail to do so by a certain age, they are viewed as weak and not man enough.

Ultimately, I have grown to understand that virginity was coined as a term in order to shame women from their sexual experiences. I grew up assuming that you truly lose a piece of yourself when you decide to engage in sex, that the first time involves a torn hymen and blood. I was surprised to learn that a hymen can tear through innocent activities like sports or an injury, or that this membrane will thin out all on its own by the time we become sexually active. The biggest game changer for me was learning that hymens already have opened slits that stretch during sex and birth, and that it is very uncommon for it to tear, thus doing away with the idea that one's body is forever changed after sex.

Moving forward, we need to stop claiming women are damaged once losing their virginity. We need to stop interpreting her worth based on how many partners she has had. The reality is that we lose no part of ourselves during the process. It is not something we can give and take. It shouldn’t be spoken of to younger girls as a commodity, something special that once given away, they can never get back. With time, my hope is that future generations will not shame others for their own personal experience, but that they will allow others to feel pleasure instead of fear.

Report this Content

Black Friday is back to being Black Friday

This year, malls are standing up against Black Friday beginning on Thanksgiving. Doors won't be opening until Friday morning.


Last week my twitter feed was full of exclamations of how excited people were that our local mall, Westmoreland Mall would be closed on Thanksgiving Day this year. For those who work during the busy holiday days and hours, a celebration was in order. For the die-hard deal finders and shoppers though, they didn’t seem very happy.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Is Thrift Shopping *Actually* Ethical?

There's been a recent boom in the popularity of vintage style looks and up-cycling thrifted finds to sell at, usually, an outrageous price. Is this ethical? Or does it defeat the whole purpose of thrifting in the first place?

Is Thrift Shopping *Actually* Ethical?

One day, I was scrolling through Twitter and came across a tweet about upper-middle-class class people thrift shopping. I personally was against the up cycling/re-selling trend because I thought it to be greedy. Then, I began to see more and more tweets, and then stated to see ones about those who buy thrifted, name brand items and sell them for what they're actually worth instead of the very low price they got them for.

Keep Reading... Show less

Holidays With the Family?

Should retail outlets close on holidays so their employees can be with their families?


For the past few years, having stores open on Thanksgiving has become a popular trend. The sales have started earlier on the day known as Gray Thursday. Now, the Mall of America has taken a bold stand and is closing its doors on Thanksgiving. They are very excited in giving the day back to their workers so they can spend time with their family.

Keep Reading... Show less

Black Friday: Explained

Time to question this unofficial corporate holiday.

Flickr/John Henderson

On a personal level, Black Friday has always confused me. Everyone just ate a ton and spent all day with their families—why would we want to go out and vigorously shop, fighting crowds? I totally see why other people want to go do it, but I’ve never quite understood the concept myself. While I’ve been Black Friday shopping once or twice, I don’t get that excited about it unless it’s an opportunity to spend time with family or friends. Don’t get me wrong; I am the queen of bargains. Still, I never seem to have the energy to go out into the jungle of shoppers early the day after Thanksgiving, or even immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. Many people, though—including my loved ones—are enthusiastic about Black Friday shopping, and it seems most other Americans are the same way. So, it’s worth looking at the reasons for this commercially-driven, unofficial American holiday.

Keep Reading... Show less

#OptOutside This Black Friday

I am opting to go outside this Black Friday, and I hope you do so as well.

Ross Woodhall

The day after Thanksgiving has always been regarded by many as the beginning of the Christmas season. While not a federal holiday, many people take off work, spend time at home with their families, and enjoy the beginning of the holiday season. This Friday off turned into a prime opportunity to begin the never-ending chore of Christmas shopping. Soon it became one of the busiest shopping days a year, which companies capitalized on by bringing the best deals of the year to this day we know as Black Friday.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments