Trigger Warning: This article contains in-depth discussion on rape and rape culture.
It seems like all we hear in the news is that someone has been raped and their assailant has gotten off with little or no time at all. People get more prison time for carrying drug paraphernalia than people like Brock Turner and Owen Labrie. Both of these young men raped women and received such lenient sentences, why? It seems as if today's justice system doesn't even care that Turner's and Labries' victims were violated and deserve justice along with peace of mind. What kind of message does it send to people? In some peoples minds rape and sex seem synonymous. Countless times on social media and interacting with people in person I can see that a large portion of our generation have absolutely no idea what the word "rape" even means. People have the nerve to actually come up with excuses and reasons why a victim has been assaulted would have been their fault. Clothing, blood alcohol levels, reputations, relationship status, and location are not the same as someone giving consent to have sex with you.
It does not matter if they're your spouse, partner, friend with benefits, best friend, or just a one night stand, no means no. It doesn't matter if "well at first she wanted to" she changed her mind and you took advantage of her. It doesn't matter if you've been married for 40 years, spousal rape occurs all the time and people seem to think that because a couple are married that it doesn't matter, it wasn't wrong or it doesn't count as rape because they're married.
As a young woman myself, its so terrifying to live in a world where some young men actually expect sexual favors for buying you a drink or taking you out. Some actually think that certain aspects of sex are the same as rape. Having specific requests or fetishes that are questionable should not in any way be compared to rape. Being into BDSM doesn't mean that a person "basically likes to be raped". Rape is being taken advantage of against your will. Using rape and other sex crimes as the butt of a joke is beyond innapropriate and so disgusting that some people actually find such traumatizing events even remotely funny.
Rapists aren't just men, they're women too. Countless men and boys are raped and media seems to have nothing to say about it. What's worse is that other men will tell the victim he should feel "lucky because she was hot" or that they should be happy because sex is sex. This kind of thinking promotes not only rape culture, but a warped view on what a healthy sex life is.
Talking about sex and anything sexual still seems so taboo and inappropriate but thats the biggest issue. Talking about what it means to have a healthy relationship with others is so inportant. It need to be discussed at home, in schools as well as any and everywhere else. Granted taking these steps will not rid our world of rapists and other sex offenders, but talking about it can change the narrative about what rape and consent actually mean.
