Domestic violence does not have boundaries. There's no race boundaries. No gender boundaries. No sexual preference boundaries. No social standing boundaries. I understand that more groups are more likely to experience domestic violence, but it is ignorant to deny the other groups help. I noticed a phenomenon that I labeled as "victim ignorance."
If you are from the San Francisco East Bay, you have heard of the murder in Blackhawk. If you are not familiar with Blackhawk, it is a very affluent area. Blackhawk is a community within the city of Danville, California. It is the ideal American dream. Big house, nice cars and beautiful surroundings. The cover photo of this article depicts Blackhawk real estate as a reference.
On August 7, 2016, the police showed up at a house in this community after reports of a dead body. Police found a women on the floor, dead from blunt force trauma. It is reported that this resulted from a domestic violence incident.
Since this community has the status of "perfection," this murder shocked many community members and local news stations. Violence is not something that is reported in this area. The type of crime in this area accelerated from only having minor crimes to dealing with murders. It is this gap in violence that brings light to the dark figure of crime.
As a criminology/criminal justice major, I learned that the phrase "dark figure of crime" refers to unreported crime, which accounts for the majority of crime, around 50%. This escalation in Blackhawk shows that communities such as this one has more crime than it lets on. Such communities have a false façade that hides "flaws" and anything that is subpar.
There are three main factors that withhold help from victims in this setting. First is the image people try to put on. Not being perfect is equivalent to being weak. Victims don't want to seek help because they don't want a weakness. Victims don't want others to exploit the weakness and/or they care about what others think about them.
Second is the fear associated with such issues. Not only is there fear of the violent party, but there is fear of everything falling apart. There is a fear of losing everything important to you. Seeking help for one issue can open an avenue for seeking help for multiple issues. People don't always have the strength or energy to confront the additional issues.
Finally, others minimize the of importance of the violence. The exterior appearance of the people is not correlated with the occurrence of domestic violence. This stereotype not only is naïve but prevents the victims from seeking help. Common phrases relating to this go along the lines of:
"Oh, you come from such a perfect family."
"You're overreacting."
"It can't be bad."
"So what did you do wrong?"
"You should be thankful."
"Other people have it worse."
Domestic violence is domestic violence. The instance of domestic violence in Blackhawk resulted in death. How you view the issue should not determine the significance of someone else's violence. Why do people resort to more violence instead of helping the victims? Ignoring the victim and the problem can be as harmful as the violence itself.
It is difficult to speak up as a victim, so as a third party, don't shut them down when they have the strength to confront their demons.
