Expectations are everywhere. We look around our daily lives and see the expectations within everything: ads, society, other individuals, family, work, school, etc. Our lives have reached the point where our "development" leads only into another level of expectations. What began as simple expectations snowball in an exponential relationship with our age. The more we grow, the more people demand. Our own lives stop being our own and transfer into the hands of those whom we give power: ads, society, other individuals, family, work, school, etc.
Similar to most people, I struggle with a number of insecurities; even typing that sentence seems to promote some of my own insecurities. My high school career was disappointingly shaped by my response to what others thought and presumed about my identity. I felt a disturbing lack of control, ultimately leading to a series of bad choices. Expectations promote the idea that first we must put someone else's ideas and values in front of our own. Years went by before I realized I disguised others' prospects, meshing and injected them into my own head, as my own. Do I blame them? No, to lay the blame on them would be unfair. Do I wish I would have been strong and held firm in what I desired for my life? Most definitely.
Expectations inherently are a good idea.When we take them to a level of scrutiny is where they fail. In order for society to function, we need to give and take occasionally; the consumer-producer is the perfect example of this relationship. The problem arises when we put something forward that conflicts directly with our development and our identity. As teenagers, we actively worked towards discovering who we are, yet forget we need experience to progress. Thomas Edison said, "Discontent is the first necessity of progress." The majority of change we control is the change we actively work at. We learn through trial and error that attempting to be someone we are not will only halt our progress and make us miserable.
The way to combat expectations is through honesty: honesty with family, friends, romantic relationships, our society, and ourselves. We are the ones being changed, thus we are at the core of the expectations. Determine what you stand by and aspire for. Failing to reach our own personal goals will only allow us to learn the importance of resilience. Failing others' expectations will only increase the identity anxiety we all work through every day. Ignore the unrealistic expectations of others and run freely towards the goal of growth.
