Coming home for the summer this year has been unlike any other summer I’ve had.

I’m still trying to decide if it’s a good thing or not.

I’m busy enough, at least in theory. I have a job and an internship, so hopefully by the end of the summer, I’ll have at least a basic skill set to help launch me into my career in two short years. I also really enjoy the work I’m doing, which I anticipated. What I didn’t anticipate about this summer was how different everything else in my life would be.

Most of my friends aren’t coming home this summer or have moved altogether. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for each and every one of them. I’m excited that my friends are getting to experience things other than our shared hometown. But this summer I’m basically out to face my hometown without my pre-existing friends, which has led me to do a lot of thinking.

Before my freshman year of college, I wrote an article for a local online magazine about how excited I was to share the last summer before college with my friends. I wrote about how much we fantasized about the summer and talked about our shared interest in road trips and weekdays spent with our toes in Vermont lakes. Reading that article now doesn’t really make me sad, of course, I miss my friends, but reading the piece makes me realize how much I’ve grown up.

I used to think about my life like it hadn’t started yet. I’d say things like, “When we see each other next, let’s…” or, “I can’t wait to come home next summer and…”. And of course, half of the things I planned for summers past, present, and future never end up taking place. Last summer, I planned everything away for next summer (summer 2016) and now I’m doing those things, just without company. My hope for this summer is to reconnect with friends who are home, and possibly make more. But I won’t rely on others in order to branch out. I can go swimming alone, and I can go hiking alone, and I can sign up for the creative workshop at the local arts center without company if need be.

I really don’t want this to be the typical 'self discovery' Odyssey article that the author may or may not actually believe in. I really, and truly think that doing things alone solves a lot of life’s little problems. My social skills are better than they were when I first wrote that article, and I’m better for it. Obviously, I miss my old friends, but there is plenty of space for me to make new friends. In the meantime, I can invest extra time in my family, who will miss me next summer when I won’t be home, and even more once I graduate.

Most importantly, I’m able to spend time with myself. Doing things alone isn’t what I want to do all of the time, of course. But making decisions and not being scared is ultimately helping me grow up and turn into a better person. I’m forging connections within my community because I’m not scared to experience it alone, and strengthening relationships with my family because I want to and am free of other outside distractions.

Here’s to this summer, and here’s to growing up a little bit at a time.