On the 14th day of February, most famously known as Valentine’s Day, or as I call it, Single’s Awareness Day, I did not wallow in self-pity. I did not buy myself roses, or chocolate, or oversized stuffed animals; I didn’t even buy myself a heart shaped donut from Krispy Kreme. I didn’t look around at all the love-birds in the world, celebrating a day that encourages outrageous scales of forced affection (for some). No. While I congratulate all of you for finding that special someone and hopefully booking your restaurant reservation for this special evening five months in advance, I did not sit in my room by myself curled up with hot cocoa and Netflix. In fact, I did quite the opposite. I got my A-game on. Well, sort of…
On this most lovely of holidays I made an honorable effort to NOT get a guy’s number. I drove over to a relatively close college campus and walked around stopping any guy I met in his tracks and challenging him with my beauty, my wit, and my dazzling gaze. Okay, yeah right, I’ll cut the crap. In reality, I stopped any guy that passed me and held a brief, maybe two-minute conversation at best, and hit him with one of these top notch love-lingo lines. I hope you enjoy them, and I strongly suggest that you try them out for yourself.
- Hi, I am doing a survey. Would you mind filling it out for me? *hands over phone with contact page open*
- I forgot my phone number, would you mind giving me yours?
- I seem to have misplaced my phone, could you call it for me?
- You can either give me your credit card number or your phone number. Choose wisely.
- If it rains tomorrow, can I call you to go see a movie?
- I was reading through the book of Numbers last night and realized I don’t have yours.
- I’m filling out an application for a new job; can I use you for a reference? I’ll need your name, phone number, and the next Friday night you will be available.
- If I can’t find the science building, can I call you?
- If I were gambling, how likely would I be to get your number?
- I wish your name was Avogadro, because then I would already know your number.
- Will you show me how to get to the contact card on your phone?
- Just to be safe, I think you should give me your number.
- Are you from China, because I’m China get your number.
- Could you fix my phone? It doesn’t have your number in it.