The Valentine's Day Social Experiment

On the 14^th day of February, most famously known as Valentine’s Day, or as I call it, Single’s Awareness Day, I did not wallow in self-pity. I did not buy myself roses, or chocolate, or oversized stuffed animals; I didn’t even buy myself a heart shaped donut from Krispy Kreme. I didn’t look around at all the love-birds in the world, celebrating a day that encourages outrageous scales of forced affection (for some). No. While I congratulate all of you for finding that special someone and hopefully booking your restaurant reservation for this special evening five months in advance, I did not sit in my room by myself curled up with hot cocoa and Netflix. In fact, I did quite the opposite. I got my A-game on. Well, sort of…

On this most lovely of holidays I made an honorable effort to NOT get a guy’s number. I drove over to a relatively close college campus and walked around stopping any guy I met in his tracks and challenging him with my beauty, my wit, and my dazzling gaze. Okay, yeah right, I’ll cut the crap. In reality, I stopped any guy that passed me and held a brief, maybe two-minute conversation at best, and hit him with one of these top notch love-lingo lines. I hope you enjoy them, and I strongly suggest that you try them out for yourself.

1. Hi, I am doing a survey. Would you mind filling it out for me? *hands over phone with contact page open*
2. I forgot my phone number, would you mind giving me yours?
3. I seem to have misplaced my phone, could you call it for me?
4. You can either give me your credit card number or your phone number. Choose wisely.
5. If it rains tomorrow, can I call you to go see a movie?
6. I was reading through the book of Numbers last night and realized I don’t have yours.
7. I’m filling out an application for a new job; can I use you for a reference? I’ll need your name, phone number, and the next Friday night you will be available.
8. If I can’t find the science building, can I call you?
9. If I were gambling, how likely would I be to get your number?
10. I wish your name was Avogadro, because then I would already know your number.
11. Will you show me how to get to the contact card on your phone?
12. Just to be safe, I think you should give me your number.
13. Are you from China, because I’m China get your number.
14. Could you fix my phone? It doesn’t have your number in it.