If you don't know, The Vagina Monologues, by Eve Ensler, is a play which began in 1996 and has been performed all across the world since. The play was derived from interviews Eve did with hundreds of women, and includes the true stories of women in the form of monologues and poems. The topics of the monologues range from rape and sexual abuse, to tampons and thongs, to domestic violence, to sexual awakenings. Now, every year, colleges across the nation, including mine, participate in what is called V-day, which means The Vagina Monologues is performed as a fundraiser for some type of charitable organization that helps women.

I am both honored and privileged to be participating in this important production for the third time this year at my own school. That being said, it hasn't always been sunshine and vaginas and rainbows. Some people have issues with the word "Vagina." (Which I guess is fair; I had never said it either until recently). As you might imagine, The Vagina Monologues have been controversial since the show began, both worldwide and here at Hope.

As they should be.

Last night, at the talk-back (a crucial element to The Vagina Monologues), someone asked the cast, "How has this show changed you?"

This lead me to reminisce about the first time I was in this piece, and how I am different now. My first year at college, I saw the auditions for The Vagina Monologues in the theatre newsletter, and being a theatre major, I showed up. I didn't know anything about the show; I had never said the word *gasp* vagina before. When I was cast in the show, I was given the piece "Because He Liked to Look At It" which is about exactly what it sounds like it's about, but if you're curious, Google it.

First, I was forced to ask myself some questions as an artist. Am I comfortable portraying this character? Is this the type of work I want to support?

That's when I realized something pretty messed up. See, at the same time I was in The Vagina Monologues, I was also in rehearsals for a student production of Hamlet in the theatre department. It was a gender bent production, so I was playing Laertes, who (Hamlet spoiler alert) stabs and kills Hamlet in the end. Here's the messed up thing I realized: never once did I ask myself, "As an artist and a person of faith, am I sure I want to portray a character who vengefully murders someone?" But I did ask myself, "Can I portray a character who has a sexual experience I'm not sure is ethical?"

The way we treat sex compared to violence as a society is, for lack of a better phrase, really super weird. Something which literally brings life in some cases, is considered more taboo than death and destruction. There is a lot of discussion to be had around this I think, but at the end of the day, the conclusion I came to was that The Vagina Monologues are true women's stories which deserve to be told, regardless of who might disagree or be offended. I hope people disagree or are offended. Sometimes I disagree and I'm offended. But the hope is that we can start a dialogue about some issues which are often pushed under the rug in our society.

My sophomore year I was given My Vagina Was My Village, a monologue about the systematic rape of women in Bosnia and Kosovo as a tactic of war. This monologue is one of the most graphic and difficult to hear in the show in my opinion.

My sophomore year was also special because it was the first year we had The Vagina Monologues on campus, as opposed to in a theatre space downtown. Suddenly, a couple weeks before the show, it appeared to the cast that there may some opposition to this at a relatively conservative Christian school.

We came together. Within a day, we had drafted a letter as a group to administration, created an online survey of student support, and staged a protest in chapel (God told me that was fine). We organized a panel discussion about the content. I ran around campus with a petition, I knocked on doors, and I showed up at a student congress meeting. Twice.

And the whole time, I was thinking about that brave woman who told Eve the details and aftermath of her rape. I said, "God, the people of Hope needed to hear this story, and I was bound and determined to tell it." Opening night, at our on campus location, was one of the proudest moments of my life.

This year, I was given Reclaiming Cunt. We talked a lot as a cast about reclaiming a word, and whether or not it really works. The conclusion I came to for myself is that at least it worked for one woman, and it's powerful and meaningful to her.

In such a time as this, when so many people are full of fear, and no one is sure who to believe, it is artists who must speak up. As it says in this year's new piece, I Call You Body:

"We've got to dance now, you hear?"

How have The Vagina Monologues changed me?

They have given me something to believe in. They are something worth fighting for. I have been empowered by empowered women, and I get to empower other women. I will stand up for justice and truth and women everywhere. As a very wise, empowered woman once said to me, "These stories deserve to be told, and we are brave enough to tell them."

And as for the word Vagina?

I've reclaimed it.