How many of you cringed when your parent or guardian had “the talk” with you? How many of you tuned those people out when they were simply trying to educate you? I have found that because of the uncomfortableness associated with talking about sex, many of my friends and I don’t even discuss it.
Before I started school at Virginia Commonwealth University, discussing sex with anyone were some of the most awkward conversations I’d ever had. This was due to only being educated on the topic in middle school and when my mother had the talk with me about the birds and the bees. Still, I found it very odd how my public school only discussed this when I was in the fifth and sixth grade and no more after that.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the reason why I wouldn’t speak up or ask questions was that I really didn’t know much about it. I remember one time when a group of my friends and I were talking about this and they mentioned something I had never heard of and I thought, “Wow. I didn’t know that could happen.” But it wasn’t until I went to my first sex-education program at VCU that I realized I wasn’t the only one who really didn’t know anything and that talking about sex was paramount to knowing how to do it right.
One of the first things I realized I knew absolutely nothing about was how to put on a condom. I realized this my second year of college when Resident Assistants put on a “faux program” during RA training. The program was a condom Olympics program, and there was a part in which they had us race to see who knew how to properly put a condom on the prop the fastest. I simply “asked” the prop for consent, bit the pack when I couldn’t open it with my fingers, and rolled it on the banana.
Afterward, one of the RAs told participants that we were all wrong. I didn’t know there were things you had to do before even opening the condom, such as not biting it to open it, checking the expiration date, feeling for an air bubble, etc. And weeks later when I went to another sex-education program on-campus, I realized I also didn’t even know the proper way to take off a condom. Still, I was happy that I was able to learn how to do those things without being judged.
Not only did I not know those things, but I also didn’t know there were such things as dental dams, which are latex rectangles. These type of condoms can be used for oral sex and can be placed on the vulva or the anus. According to Planned Parenthood, dental dams are also used by dentists to isolate teeth during certain dental procedures. There are also flavored dental dams. If one doesn’t have a dental dam, one can simply follow these steps on Planned Parenthood’s website on converting a condom into one.
In conclusion, I have found that talking about sex and admitting when you don’t know much about isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s also important to not only make sure you know what you’re doing, but also that your partner does before laying down with them. And always, make sure you’re getting tested. After all, you can’t call yourself a freak the sheets if you don’t know how to wrap your “meat.”
More information on the various types of condoms can be found at Planned Parenthood's website.
