June 21st, 2017 is a day to remember FOREVER! I was just 21 weeks pregnant. I never had a thought in my mind that I’ll be going into labor that day. My fiancé & I just found out that we were having a baby boy two weeks prior. 

It was so much to deal with on that Wednesday afternoon. I was scared as hell but really didn’t have the time to be scared. You feel me? I had to be strong. Not only for myself but for Alec as well. (My fiancé)

That whole day I wasn’t feeling like myself. I was in pain & Alec was doing all he could possibly do to make me feel better. All of sudden things were getting worse. I then told my mom that I wanted to go to the hospital. In the mix of me trying to get myself together my water broke. Once my water broke I knew something was wrong. My mom called 911 & they were in route. After my water broke blood came right after. I then knew what was happening. I was literally dying inside but I stayed strong. 

Once the paramedics arrived they got me on the stretcher & into the ambulance. My mom rode in the ambulance with me & Alec followed very close behind us. A couple minutes down the street before we approached Shady Grove Hospital I felt a lot of pressure & next I delivered my angel. All I could do was cry. My baby had no heart beat. I told my mom to call Alec & let him know but she didn’t because she didn’t want him to get in an accident. 

Once we arrived at the hospital Alec ran up to me. I yelled “ bae, I had the baby. He’s right here” while busting out in tears. They got us in a room as quick as possible. Once we arrived in the room I delivered my placenta. We moved to another room very quickly. They then weighed my baby & he weighed in at 13 ounces. Perfect little thing in our eyes.

Alec & I were so hurt but yet so strong for one another. The thing that I hated most was seeing my mom hurt. Seeing my mom cry made me cry more. I’ve never cried so much in my life. 

Baby boy was able to stay in the room with us. Our angel was perfect. He had ALL of his features. 10 fingers, 10 toes, perfect little ears & nose. Not to mention he looked just like his daddy. I held him the whole time. Just crying & staring at him. He was perfect. I just couldn’t understand why.

Being in the hospital those few days made Alec & I so much more closer to one another. God gave us the time to reflect & appreciate each other. 

I had the best nurse ever. I’ll never forget Caitlyn. She took very good care of me. When it was time for shift change I didn’t want her to go lol. 

We were able to get our son Amare pictures taken & a box of keep sakes to remember him forever. Not that we’ll ever forget him. Everything in that box is a good luck charm of mine. When I have hard days I hold on to those things. 

Losing our son not only made us stronger but it made us who we are today. After the loss of Amare good things started happening for us. 

We are strong believers that everything happens for a reason & God knew what he was doing. We also never questioned God. 

The best way to cope with losing our son is talking about it with others. I have my good days & bad days. When I feel like I need to cry I just let it all out. One thing for sure is too never get discouraged. 

With that being said we are a walking testimony & love every minute of it. Amare will be a big brother some day. Watching over his parents & siblings. 

Baby boy Amare Zaevion McCoy is our personal angel & we’ll love him forever. We thank God for letting us be strong. 

June 21st, 2017 is a day to remember. The day we gained our angel. 

For the people out there who are suffering with a loss of a newborn need to take it one day at a time. If you need to cry, cry. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Grieve how you need to grieve. Remember things get better with time. 

Amare; mommy & daddy love you forever baby!!!!