A scary concept for many is the idea of a long distance relationship. Be it that person you met on Facebook that lives across the country, or your best friend who just moved to opposite direction of you for college, long distance can be scary. What happens when you're not in someone's day to day life? Many people feel the relationships are as good as done, or maybe, after a few months of vague trying, both parties give up. Perhaps, they may not even consider it a relationship at all to start with if they meet long distance in the first place.
The simple fact is: long distance is not that scary. As a child of the internet, I've met and held onto many long distance friendships. Some have had their highs and lows, but for the most part, I've held onto to most of my friends. One, in particular, I've had for nearly 5 years. It's taught me a lot about living in the moment, as well as an incredible amount about appreciating people you have in your life.
A little over a week ago, one of my closest friends came to visit me in Chicago, for a week-long visit all the way from Boston. In a long distance friendship, these moments are they best. Over the past 3 years we've traveled to one another 4 times, this recent trip included. The memories we share together are some of my favorites and many that I'll truly cherish forever.
Theres a lot of ups and down of having a best friend who lived 1,000 miles away. Of course, anyones first thoughts is how hard it must be to keep this relationship up and going, as we're rarely ever together. It's had its challenges considering theres a timezone and about 5 states between us, but the fact that we have a bond superior to these problems definitely helps.
One of the most wonderful things about the distance, is when we're finally united. The lead up something you look forward to for months, and the build up is almost as exciting as seeing them, almost. Then, it's like there wasn't any time between the last visit(s), and things fall into place as if you see one another every day. Of course, the visit is much more action packed with fun than you'd do with most friends in a week, but there are never any regrets.
The downs begin to occur when the trip ends, which is expected when you say goodbye to someone you hardly ever see as it is. The immediate missing of them is hard, you take a week to get used to having your best friend around at all hours, and suddenly, they're gone again. Unfortunately, you do get used to texting, video calls, tagging one another in Facebook posts, etc., etc., but nothing compares to spending time with one another in person.
While that may sound disappointing, consider this, what's more exciting than planning another trip? The thing is, long distance relationships, be it a romantic or platonic one, aren't easy. Sometimes you want to invite them to the movies, or have a night in a binge your favorite TV show, but the closest you get is a video call. Does it suck? Absolutely, but those moments lead up to the exciting one, the ones you cherish more than texting one another at 4am sharing memes.
My friend and I spent 9 straight days with one another before she went back home. Mind you, we had only planned for 5 and she extended her trip. Those 9 days were filled with beach trips, a concert, and sharing all of my favorite things in the area with her. It was 9 straight days of the most fun chaotic madness.
Talking to your hometown best friend on the phone once every two weeks while you're both at college might sound terrifying when you're used to seeing them all day every day. Promising to keep in touch with an over the internet friend is hard because of the possible distance of the entire globe. And though I have no experience, saying goodbye to a romantic relationship while you're separated can't be easy either, but the payoff is always when they come back.
There are ups and down to all relationships, and while you can dread on all the bad things about a long distance one, you can also think of all the positives. Before this, I don't think I'd be able to appreciate the people in my day to day life. If I didn't see my family every day, I think I'd go a little insane, but before having a friend who lives across the country, I don't think I would've ever thought of how it would've really felt. As I've said before, living in the moment can be incredibly hard for me. I often let my mind drift to what others are thinking, or even what I'm thinking of myself. Having a friend that's only here once a year (if we're lucky) has helped to crush that mindset. I think of everything as a one-time thing, give it my all, and come out with fewer regrets. It might seem a bit ridiculous, but I do owe a lot of that to learning to live in the moment when my friend visits.
When it comes down to it, the only real downs of a long distance relationship is the distance itself. So, why dread on something out of your hands? The only thing you can control is your communication, and while time zones and people's schedules can get in the way, as long as you don't let it, there is no reason to not have someone you care for in your life.
The real truth of a long distance relationships/friends ships is that there are downs (distance, lack of communication, little to no day to day interaction) and there are pros (sharing things, video chats, visits, getting to travel, having someone you like in your life, and many more). For me, the pros weigh out the cons, and they always will. Though the distance might be sad, the friendship is more important than the sadness. The visits, the traveling, and of course, having that person around long outshine the bad parts.
There are bad things everywhere. So, when thinking about your friend leaving for college, your over the internet best friend, or even your parent who is frequently on trips, don't let distance ruin it for you, embrace it! You control your fate, not the mileage between you and someone you care for.
