There are many people who absolutely love and adore ‘The Polar Express,’ I am not one of those people. No part of me ever wants to watch this movie, nor have I ever enjoyed watching this movie. What’s even worse is that I have avoided this movie for so long, that I had to watch it to remember exactly what I do not like about it. Just thinking about this movie makes me cringe, and here are the cringe-worthy things that really get me:

1. The kids are SO annoying (and not the brightest).

WHY DID HE GET ON A TRAIN OF STRANGERS? It literally makes no sense, like how much sketchier can something get. I love Santa as much as the next person, but I know for a fact I am not getting on a train of a bunch of strangers to prove Santa exists.

2. The songs are absolutely terrible.

I love (and I mean LOVE) hot chocolate just as much as the next person, but I have never witnessed a worse kind of singing than that of the “Hot Chocolate Song,” in this movie.

I honestly don’t even know if you can count it as singing, it’s literally just the conductor yelling, “WE GOT IT!” “When Christmas Comes To Town,” isn’t that bad, but it is still not a bop worthy song.

3. A bell does not symbolize belief in Santa in my book.

I refuse to let a cringy movie demote believing in Santa to whether these kids could hear bells or not. Santa is definitely so much more than that. He is an icon that is not represented by some bells.

4. These kids are not freezing to death in the North Pole with only their pajamas on, please explain.

I see people walking around all the time in parkas when it is 60 degrees out (which I also do not understand), but this movie is trying to tell me that these kids could sing outside at the back of the train without so much as a coat? This literally does not make any sense. I know these kids had to be freezing.

5. Everything about this movie is just cringe-worthy.

I don’t really know how to explain it better than that, I literally cringed for fifteen minutes straight, trying to watch it and I could not watch it anymore. The plot is just weird and creepy, a train picks up random kids in the middle of the night to take them to the North Pole, just why? Avoiding this movie as a child may have been one of the hardest things I had to do because they played it in school ALL THE TIME! Talk about some rough days.

Now that I have vented my hatred for ‘The Polar Express’ I will be watching Hallmark Christmas movies, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch (the cartoon version, I also do not like the real people version of this movie), and many other Christmas movies to get me through this holiday season.