When you hear about someone being married 15-plus years, it seems like a big deal. But, it used to be 40 years of literally "until death do us part." In today's society, divorce is viewed as normal, the way out if you're not happy, and it's the solution if marriage just doesn't work.
Coming from divorced parents has forever changed me. Maybe for the worst, or for the better or maybe a mix of both. I'm really not sure.
I have those "unrealistic" dreams of 40 or more years with the one I fall in love with and the hope of death do us part (yes, I love Nicholas Sparks). I have the dream of being so in love that our children make fun of us, we are that couple that are obsessed with each other and we set a example to those around us on true love.
Divorce is hard -- you watch two people who used to love one another suddenly become strangers who do not get along, or care about one another's feelings. I know with my parents this happened overnight no warning, no chance to hold on tight, it just happened.
I love my parents, do not get me wrong, they have given me a great life and endless love. I just never want my children to have to experience what I did through their divorce. I was faced with learning to share time, sleeping in a new room, dealing with step-parents and learning to block out what they said about one another. And those are just some of the things I was forced to learn and deal with.
Mentally, as a child with divorced parents, it had a toll on me. I always wanted to make both Mom and Dad happy. This was really hard when I did not see eye to eye with one of them as I grew older. This caused for strains on my relationship and nasty words that should have never been said to a child to come out. Some of the things have forever scared me, and mentally beat me up as I grew. I wouldn't change the situations I've been in because I have learned a lot about myself and others from these experiences. This showed me true colors of my family, who were really there for me, and most importantly, it showed me what I want in life.
Divorce will never be an option for me. Some people laugh at me when I say it, but it is something I truly mean. I am careful when I date and I will wait for the right person. I have high hopes that my children do not go through what I went through. I hope my children can appreciate the relationship their father and I have, learn from my stories and never feel pulled in two directions.
At the end of the day, coming from divorced parents has made me who I am and why I do what I do. I wouldn't change it, I just learn from it.
