It’s a contract, signed by the bonds of friendship and individual vows to not be that one.
The one that ruins everything; the one that ruins the group.
If you’ve ever been part of a familial group of friends, then you know the will power, dedication and obedience that it takes to adhere to the Unspoken Rules Of The Group.
1. When receiving gossip about other group members (inevitable), you don’t share.
Yes. You will talk behind each other’s backs. It sounds shady, because well it is, but it happens. It’s the natural way of the group. It's how you offload stresses instead of keeping them in (stresses usually caused by someone straying from the rules).
2. Group members may not share crushes.
This is when the principles of “dibs” come into play. When group members share crushes, worlds burn. Avoid it. Call dibs. Dibs is the ancient and internationally respected art of establishing your right to romantically pursue a particular person. Call dibs. Respect dibs.
3. Light roasting is necessary to keep people in their places, but burning will not be permitted.
Roasting within a group is crucial. It keeps all members humble and in their place. This prevents a hierarchy from forming, and hierarchies are dangerous because they escalate into "Mean Girls"-esque groups. Roasting, however, should not target group members in anything that they genuinely enjoy or love. Roasting should occur often and relentlessly, but with good judgment.
4. There will be subgroups.
Choose your subgroup wisely. Inevitably, subgroups are going to occur. This means that you’ll break off and do things without all members present. This is OK, really, but make sure you’re in the right subgroup. Once you’re in a subgroup, it’s unlikely you’ll break into another subgroup.
5. Group drama is group drama — you’re all involved.
Don’t cause the group drama. No one likes drama. No one likes the person that starts the drama. That’s the person that gets gossip spread about them. That’s the person that ruins the group. Don’t be that person.
6. Intra-group dating is highly discouraged and very avoidable!
This will ruin the group almost 100% of the time. It’s understandable — you’re around them all the time and you know them really well. You get closer and closer, and then all of a sudden you’re kind of smitten with the person. But this tears groups apart. Intra-group dating turns the rest of the group against the couple. The couple will not get invited to do group activities, and eventually, a new “group” is established. If this rule gets broken, it’s important to keep the group and the romance separate. The group doesn't want to have couple in their ranks. They don’t. They’ll resent it. Additionally, if the happy couple does not remain happy, it will further ruin the group. Understand the treacherous nature of intra group dating.
7. Group members are considerate of one another.
Group members do their best to maintain harmony in the group. It should be a priority to never make others feel awkward or unimportant. Groups should try their best to keep up positive and friendly relationships with other group members, and they strive to make a safe, fun, warm environment for their closest friends. At the end of the day, the group wouldn’t be the group unless everyone cared about one another.
A good group member always follows the rules. They may stray occasionally, but not without self-policing and putting themselves back on track. Good group members realize their shortcomings and work daily to improve themselves in quality as a friend. Good group members always follow the Unspoken Rules Of The Group.
