"Those who would find solitude must not be afraid to stand alone." - William Deresiewicz

There it was, the subliminal message staring back at me from between the folds of a rented paperback. The fluid motions of violins and key strokes washing over me in a tidal wave of understanding. I wondered in that moment if the students walking by could sense the change that was taking place in the small confines of my mind, and with a quick glance toward my surroundings I knew that only I could see and feel the air around me lighten. I had found an answer that I never knew to look for and perhaps that also has something to do with what I have just read.

What have I read? You ask. I have read, "The End of Solitude" by William Deresiewicz . An essay assigned for a reading in my Advanced Composition course. I do not believe that I have ever read something that latched onto my soul with such afierce grip as this essay had done. In the essay he speaks of how solitude is soon to be eradicated from the lives of Americans, and that it has already begun to happen. Gone are the days of being alone, children fear being alone because they associate being alone with loneliness. Young people are never truly alone or have time with themselves, they are constantly connected to the rest of the world with the touch of a button. From the moment they open their eyes, they are scrolling through Facebook and then switching to their Instagram, all within a five to ten minute period.

So there I am with my headphones in my ears humming along to Debussy's Clair de Lune and it hits me. A surreal understanding that I myself very rarely find the solitude I once basked in as a young girl. There is never a moment where music is not playing, Facebook is not notifying me of what my sister ate for lunch, and Instagram is not sharing with me every picturesque moment in the lives of everyone around the world. From the moment I awake I am plugged in to every type of social media and yet I cannot find the time to sit and write my novel.

After reading this article, I took it upon myself to attempt to change that part of myself which I had grown so accustomed too. When I woke up the next morning, I didn't take my phone into the bathroom to brush my teeth but instead left it there on my dresser. While at work I placed my phone aside and didn't open Facebook or Instagram, and while at school I left my phone in the car and instead made conversations with the people around me. Day one of doing this was difficult, more difficult than I would ever like to admit but it is the truth. In those moments where work slowed down or my professor was running late I found myself reaching for my phone to see what I may have missed on Social Media. Every time I got even a second of alone time or felt a hint of boredom I reached for my phone.

This was devastating for me, as I have always taken great pride in saying that I could live without my phone or social media and here I am discovering that I may have been lying. I was angry at myself for being uncappable of having a moment to myself. Why could I not sit at my desk and write something? Why was I allowing Facebook and Instagram to have any power over my life?

I laid awake that night filled with confusion as questions swirled about in my mind. How was I going to change it? How was I going to allow myself the solitude that I so desperately needed?

I would start by taking Facebook and Instagram off of my phone, I have a laptop at home and I can look at the end of the day. Solitude is healthy, everyone needs it so that we can process our day effectively. You know what is even more terrifying, I was hesitant to take Facebook and Instagram off my phone! HESITANT!! Why did it feel like I was suddenly disconnecting myself from everyone. As a young women who loves spending time by myself I couldn't believe that I was reluctant to disconnect myself from the world.

I am going on a week of being 'unplugged' and I must admit that the feeling is different than I had expected;after all I am attempting to break bad habits. I am more focused on what is in front of me than what is possibly hundreds of thousands of miles away. I can sit down and do my homework without having Instagram and Facebook blowing up my phone. I think that everyone should test themselves in this manor. Can you withstand posting, poking, and liking until the end of the day? Can you pay attention to those in front of you? Can you be alone and feel comfortable?

I think you all will find that you can do anything and that you will feel better when you unplug, turnoff, and get bored.

-The Queen of Boredom