Struggling with your mental health is normal. Maybe you’re super insecure, maybe you get stressed easily, but mental illness is something no one can understand until they have personally been through it. There are several forms, and every experience is unique. Loving someone who is going through this is difficult, too. There are several speechless conversations, a handful of discomfort, and an eternity of wishing there was more you could do. However, I think there are several qualities that are helpful to have when you're loving someone going through this. Be…
1. Compassionate
This is something everybody deserves, but trying to overcome a mental illness is almost like breaking an addiction. Being compassionate will go a long way.
2. Forgiving
There are going to be times when you need to forgive yourself and forgive the person struggling. You are not responsible for the way they react to things and that is hard to accept. It may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, but being forgiving will make it all easier.
3. Expectationless
I understand this is almost impossible to do. Having expectations is natural. This journey will be easy if you minimize your expectations. This can be about time, healing, reactions, and everything in between. If he or she isn't making progress at the rate you would expect or want, that is okay -- everyone heals differently. Take time to understand this isn’t your journey.
4. Patient
Arguably the most difficult: be patient. It is highly likely that this person will not come to you immediately. Maybe he or she will never want to talk about it with you. But be patient, you never know what will change.
5. Encouraging
Whether it’s encouraging them to get help or suggesting activities for them to get involved in, be encouraging. It will mean a lot to that person if you’re present and available to help how you can.
6. Attentive
For you and the person involved, be attentive. Listen when they speak, and pay attention to the body gestures and hints you might receive from them. Show up when they need you to -- you won’t regret it.
7. Loving
This is the most important of them all. Be loving. Love them through it and surround them with love. Because ultimately, that’s a huge part of the cure. Loving a person through their struggle is the most rewarding and beneficial part for them - and for you.
I’m not saying this is the "ultimate guide to recovery for the person you’re trying to help," but remembering these qualities and trying your best to display them on a daily basis are going to be truly helpful for everyone involved in the situation. Everyone is different, so all you can really do is use your best judgement, let other people help you, and love, love, love.
