English philosopher Herbert Spencer once said, “We all decry prejudice, yet are all prejudiced.” Nowadays, it seems as if being prejudiced is the worst act any individual could commit; however, what we do not understand is that prejudice survives latently and inherently within us. From as early as preschool, we have already learnt stereotypes or acquired negative attitudes toward “others.” Yes, it is a social concept, but because we begin to be prejudiced so far back in our childhood, it almost seems an innate thing in our lives. However, it isn’t; it is learnt behaviour. Prejudice is taught and spoon-fed to everyone regardless of race, creed, or gender. Whether we like to admit it to ourselves or not, we are all prejudiced in one way or another.

This doesn’t have to necessarily be a terrible thing. Prejudice, in its most basic definition, is simply pre-judging something or someone. In any context where there is free choice or will, we have to pre-judge the options before we obtain the necessary information to make the right choice for us, not anyone else. This means no matter how simple the choice may be, we have to pre-judge what it offers to make our selection. On that basis, there really is nothing wrong with being prejudiced, per se. The dilemma occurs only when we use the concept in a negative concept to demonstrate personal preferences which are linked to discrimination and power.

Fortunately, this also means we can unlearn being prejudiced but only if that was what we really desired. The process of countering those negatives with positives can begin at any age. However, being a negative habit which we might practise subconsciously, it cannot be done instantly. The learning process (or unlearning process, I should say) requires four key elements before there will be any effective, real change: acknowledgement, identification, a desire to change, and a raising of awareness and education.

Acknowledgement

As clichéd as this may sound, the first step to solving a problem, such as unlearning a bad habit, is to acknowledge you have one. Otherwise, how can we change the issue if we don’t see anything wrong with it? We cannot unlearn what we live in denial or else we would be superficially going through the motions. We would still believe it, but merely act to expediency when we are trying to make a good impression, to gain approval, and/or avoid exclusion. By acknowledging that there is a problem which could affect others negatively, we are ready to begin.

Identification

Possessing any form of prejudice derives from our most basic beliefs; these are shaped by our gender, culture, religion, and social background. Our beliefs then form our perspectives on life which dictate our attitude; our attitude is then cemented through our preferences or prejudices. This means we cannot change attitudes with actions alone. To unlearn something, it is required to start from the base and go back to our psyche and beliefs to untangle the reasons why we act as so in the first place. We need to identify what information we have acquired down the years that has formed our beliefs which in turn has made us unduly prejudicial and fearful; by dealing with the root of those fears, only then can we begin to tackle our actions.

Understanding “blindness” doesn’t exist

It is a myth that the lack of observance of people’s differences, especially skin colour, is a good thing. Whether we like it or not, we are, in fact, very acutely aware of our shadings and gradations; therefore, we need matter-of-fact, simple, and truthful explanations of these differences. It is OK to ask for these explanations. Surround yourself with people who are readily equipped to respond.

Desire to Change

Once we have tackled our beliefs, it is a must to feel the desire to change. This is only perceptible through an inclination to challenge what we have identified ant to change it. Without a genuine wish to change our discriminatory attitudes or perspectives, our behaviour will stay the same. By possessing said desire, we can then take the necessary steps to engineer that change, even if it may take us quite a bit of time. However, desire for change is the motivation behind future actions. If we do not truly desire change, we will just simply go through the motions robotically.

Raising Awareness and Education

A desire to act in a different manner will prompt raising our awareness through the means of further education, either formal or informal, and experiencing situations that will change our aged views. We would have to change our old, false mind-sets and the information we had previously to something different and more wholesome. This would require us to continue the education of our situation, especially around enabled, accepted behaviour and the immoral perspectives of others.

Discussing differences does not increase prejudice

Being aware of differences is not the same as avoiding, ridiculing, or fearing specific diversity. Moreover, awareness does not lead to negative attitudes. We learn biases from important figures in our lives, from the media, from literature, and from peers. We need to openly discuss with each other – to provide and be provided accurate information and to reinforce when our behaviours indicate a value of differences as opposed to a prejudice. Surprisingly, many individuals have trouble opening up and broaching the subject. However, practise makes perfect; only experience will provide knowledge. Above all, ensure your words of wisdom are in tune with your actions. Sending contradictory messages only reinforces prejudices and stereotypes.

It’s not enough to speak about similarities among people

While we may wish to understand the things that bind us as human beings, it is equally important that we understand that shared characteristics, language, and customs are expressed in different ways. When we continuously tell ourselves, “See, they do that just like us,” we may be implying similarities are the only things that make “those” people acceptable.

Anything we have learnt can be unlearn, but it takes much thought, action, and above all, education and awareness in the alternatives available. By teasing out established fears, the information which led to those beliefs, and the desire to be prejudiced, especially against someone, all while widening our horizons through education regarding more engaging and affirming ways of interaction with others and awareness of our privilege and circumstances, we acquire a much better chance of unlearning our negative prejudices and replacing them with more positive and reinforcing behaviour.