I should do it. I can't do it. I need a way to get out of (insert incredibly harmless thing here). All of these things run through my mind at least a thousand times a day. I make plans, then sit and stew over them, thinking of all the reasons why they could go wrong and try to weasel my way out. Rinse, repeat.
I've been this way my whole life, I think, but didn't really notice it until I hit middle school. I can't make plans without thinking of backing out at least once, and I have no explanation for this. It's just how my brain works. It's absolutely frustrating.
An example for you: This week, I went through the process of applying to work for my community college's newspaper. It started with a phone call. A phone call I thought about for ages and ages. What was I was going to say, or would I say the wrong thing? Then a meeting - completely normal to be nervous over an interview, right? I had prepped all of my portfolios and rehearsed what I might say only to walk in, be talked to for quite literally a minute, and then hired. But in my mind, I was terrified.
An example of overthinking on a smaller scale: sometimes I freak out about raising my hand in class because if I say the wrong thing, I believe everyone will laugh at me. A good day is when I can encourage myself to actually raise my hand.
I can't put it into words for you or show you, it's exactly what it sounds like, but I can tell you what it feels like.
Overthinking feels like cold, sweaty palms, headaches, a racing heart, and not being able to catch a breath. It's silent and it's happening all the time. It's thinking of the worst case scenario and playing it over and over in your head.
What doesn't help are the people who will immediately shut you down if you voice your concerns, no matter how ridiculous. It makes us feel stupid, discourages us from talking about anything that might worry us, which just makes it all worse. Do not call us stupid, or crazy, a lot of us can't help it. I'll fight you (but only after I've thought about it for a couple days).
