The Unexpected Feeling That Comes When You Start To Achieve Your Goals

The Unexpected Feeling That Comes When You Start To Achieve Your Goals

This is the article I needed at 13 years old, so I’m writing it now

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There are few moments in a person's life that call for widespread celebration and within those moments are one billion flecks of emotions. These emotions come so quick and fast like lightning bolts you sometimes can't grasp them; can't put a name to them. All you know is that they take up your entire being and exude from every pore. It is joy that can not be contained in simple adjectives and contentment that almost feels too good to be true. I say these emotions come in times of celebration because it is those times in which we have reached a new milestone. It is where we often take a deep breath, look at how far we've come and also how much further we are willing to go which can be rather bittersweet.

I have had the privilege of being endlessly celebrated these past couple weeks by a support system like no other. I have been celebrated by teachers who wish me luck on future endeavors, by friends who share my pride in all I've achieved but hate to see me go and by family who care for me in indescribable ways. The summer before college has proved to be one extravagant memorialization of both my past accomplishments and future goals. I am exactly where I want to be in life and could not be happier, which is why I found it rather odd that I could not stop crying. In a storm of emotions that I have been grasping at, it seemed I could only collect tears.

It simply made no sense and for someone who is rather good with words, it is so frustrating to be unable to define what I was feeling.

Just last weekend, I had my family graduation party. It was nothing spectacular, exactly what you would expect from a family get together. Card after card, hug after hug, "i love you" after "i love you." With each token of affection my heart seemed to swell much like the tears in my eyes. When the day was over and I began to say my goodbyes, I turned to my Aunt and gave her the usual hug and kiss but when she pulled away I noticed her expression had fallen. She thought this moment was the real goodbye, the last time I'd see her before going across the country for school. I quickly reassured her that it wasn't and all the light seemed to reenter the room. I left and thought to myself: "Who would have thought that one day I'd be this happy and feel this loved?" And that was it. The emotion that I was grasping that pulled tears from my eyes every moment it could. It turns out, there's actually a word for it.

ÉNOUMENT:

the bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self

In our lowest of lows, we dream of better days. Énoument is the exact rush of bittersweet joy you receive when you realize you are living amongst the better days. I am beyond proud of the person I am today but I ache for the person I once was, my younger self who thought I might not be able to make it this far. In these instants of celebration, I wish my former self could see that the lows made for some incredible, incredible highs.

As my own personal form of closure with these feelings, If I could go back in time and speak to 13 year old me, I would say:

"One day you are just going to realize that you made it and you are going to feel so undeniably loved."


Which is what I say to the pieces of myself I see in others. This is the article I wish I had five years ago, so this is the article I am giving to that girl and anyone like her. To my siblings, my friends, anybody who needs to make it through a rough spot, better days are coming and this is your sign.

Cover Image Credit:

Natalia Carbuccia

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34 Things I Should Have Brought To College At The Start Of Freshman Year, But Didn't

To the incoming freshman from the rising senior.
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Coming from a rising senior at the University of Dayton who has lived in an over-sized double dorm room, to a suite-style quad dorm room, to a house with virtually no storage space sharing an octagon-shaped single room (and single closet)... These are the random little things no one thinks to bring to college or put on these lists, but they will make your life on campus a million times better. I ended up buying these items long after I started college, and they were a big help. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

1. Shoe organizer

These are great for various items such as toiletries, snacks, and, of course, shoes.

2. Under-the-bed storage bins

During college, most of my storage has been under my bed, so this is a must.

3. Photos

To remember the happy times with your friends and family. Add to your collection over your college years.

4. String lights

Just to add a little something extra to your space. The dim light is totally relaxing.

5. Makeup wipes

For when you're too tired after going out to actually wash your face.

6. Extra sheets and towels

Trust me, you're not going to want to wash your sheets and towels right away so you can use them immediately. Bring back-ups.

7. Tide pods

These are awesome. Plus they smell heavenly.

8. Drunk dorm/microwaveable snacks

For when you come back after going out and the dining hall has already closed. Ordering Domino's or Jimmy John's night after night is NOT a cost-effective option.

9. Gatorade

For when you're too dead in the morning to walk down and get one from the dining hall.

10. Keurig and coffee

Just in case the dining hall runs out of coffee during finals week. Believe me, it can happen.

11. Chip clips

You will accumulate many of these from free vendors and events on campus, but somehow, they are no where to be found when you need one.

12. Paper towels / Clorox wipes

You can never have enough.

13. Rain boots

So you'll be able to make it to class on those rainy days without having to sit in soaking wet socks and shoes for 50 minutes (yikes). And you can jump in all the puddles you wish.

14. Alarm clock

If you're like me and could sleep the whole day if you didn't have an alarm, your phone alarm just doesn't cut it sometimes.

15. Back study pillow

Even if you don't think you will use it, you will end up wanting it.

16. Command strips

These are the only things that will stick to most dorm room walls.

17. Rug

Especially if your room has a cold tile floor instead of carpet.

18. Air mattress or sleeping bag

For your friends visiting you on campus, or if you ever go on a trip.

19. Disposable dishes

At least while you live in a dorm with a community sink.

20. Red solo cups

Because you don't want your morning-after milk or apple juice to taste like last night's $8 vodka.

21. Costumes/holiday wear

This is something I totally didn't even think about when I first came to school. Now I have an entire bin JUST for costumes and holiday decor.

22. Crazy daydrink clothes

If you have a few jerseys, you're set. If not, take a trip to the local goodwill with your squad and pick up a few things. The crazier, the better.

23. Towel wrap

If you're like me and just like to chill in your towel after you shower ( and a robe is too hot for you), these are a must. And they're super cute.

24. Wristlet/clutch/small purse

You won't want to lug around a large tote while you're out with friends or doing daily activities.

25. Comfortable heels

Don't let this be you!!!! I've been there, and nothing will ruin your night of dancing at the club like shoes that give you blisters and disable your walking by the end of the night.

26. Business casual and business professional clothes

And make sure you know the difference and when each is appropriate.

27. Water bottle

In college, your water bottle is your best friend. You never go anywhere without it, and it actually helps you to drink the amount of water you're supposed to drink each day (maybe).

28. Blender

If you're a fan of smoothies (or frozen margaritas) and want to make them at home for less.

29. Flashcards

Flashcards are a great way to study. If they're not for you, buy them anyway just in case you want to try them out. Or if anyone on your floor is desperate for them, they will be eternally grateful.

30. Mini fridge

When you're sharing a fridge with 3+ other people, things can get pretty tight. I recommend buying this with your roommates so you can share the extra space.

31. Calculator

Just in case you change your major and have to take math again (like me).

32. Thermometer

So you can know for sure whether or not you have a fever.

33. Drying rack

Because you're actually not supposed to put everything in the dryer, who knew?

34. Rubbing alcohol

Works wonders for getting those impossible Thursday night Xs off before your Friday 9 a.m.

These things have helped me make it through three years of college, especially freshman year. Hopefully, I have helped you prepare for your college years somehow. Good luck and have fun!!!

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Cover Image Credit: oregonstateuniversity / Flickr

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Life Lessons That Your Student Loans Can't Teach You, #SorryNotSorry

You learn about yourself when you hear what comes out of your mouth when it's 3 a.m., you've had two Mike's Hards, and all you want to do is talk about what you love in the world.

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College could be considered the highlight of the public (or private) education system: higher education. Within the walls of your chosen college, you shall build up your education in your chosen field that's taught by the best of the best. As you should be, considering the number of student loans the majority of us are racking up #ohdear.

But let's be honest for a second, sometimes the most important things we learn aren't learned in a classroom (that does not mean this is an excuse to skip your eight am lecture). While the information you will learn in those halls is worthy, important, and worth the money you have spent on tuition, it's important to acknowledge the other kinds of lessons college teaches us and has taught me outside of the classroom.

For me, it was the things that didn't seem important, at first. It's the little things.

You learn something about yourself when you move into your first apartment and you're set loose into the world by yourself. Do you go to bed at a reasonable time? Or do you stay up until the sun is rising, poking its head into your window like an unwelcome visitor?

You realize who your friends are. There are ones who don't bother to speak to you after you move like the distance is too much of a burden for them to bear. There are the ones who go their separate ways in the world, but that does not diminish the love either of you feel. Then there are the ones who go above and beyond and drive from your hometown to the college just to see you.

You'll learn how to manage your money, through a horrific experience, having your card declined while you're trying to get a smoothie. You'll have to ask someone for help with rent money. You'll learn that yes, you do actually feel better if you try to eat something other than top ramen for every meal. You'll learn what it is like to pry yourself out of bed with every fiber of your being screaming "no" because you want to be at class. You'll feel good about yourself when you get there.

You'll learn who you are based on what you spend your time giggling about at three in the morning after a party. You learn who you trust to walk you home from a party, maybe you'll stop and stargaze too. You'll learn who is worthy of your time, how you'll react when the fire alarm goes off and the whole building has to go stand in the parking lot.

You learn about the world in a classroom, how it works, what makes it tick, what's happened in it. You learn a business, how to craft, and how to be a professional.

I learned about myself when the fire alarm in my apartment building went off, and I ran outside and didn't even bother to put shoes on. Moments later, my roommate trailed out, a cat under each arm, shoes in her fingers, and sweatshirts were thrown over her arms (I learned that I am a runner, and she is a thinker).

You don't learn about yourself in a classroom. You learn about yourself when you hear what comes out of your mouth when it's 3 am and you've had two Mike's Hards and all you want to do is talk about what you love in the world.

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